New Rules

Last week I was working with one of my small business clients, a bright and dynamic woman who’s passionate about positioning her artisan business for growth. We were talking about her financial picture and forecasting robust sales over next three years.

As I coached her, she expressed excitement and eagerness to see her dreams turn into reality, yet somewhere, just below surface, I sensed subtle resistance on her part to fully imagine scenario we were painting.

I asked her about what she was feeling. After stopping for a moment to “feel into” my observation, she tentatively at first, then heartily agreed. Then she got very curious about her seemingly incongruous resistance to success.

“Sarah”, I asked, “What is your ‘rule’, about financial success? In other words, what belief do you carry (deep down) about money?” It didn’t take long for her to respond. “Well,” she reported, “if you’re financially successful, it means you have to give up on your values and your integrity”.

Wow! By uncovering that one rule, Sarah hit pay dirt. She was now free to clearly see that one disempowering rule she had been carrying her entire life.

Taking a look at rules that drive your thinking is a very powerful activity to help you grow as a person, especially as a business owner. Another wise client of mine once said, “There’s no way to separate who we are from what we do”. You can have most empowered business plans in world and if your inner life and dialog is disempowered…forget it. It’s an up hill battle.

What are your ‘under-the-surface rules’ that run your life and business? To explore, ask yourself: Where are you consistently stuck in your business? What are things that always hang you up? What are recurring thoughts or themes you could write book about?

Fear -- Feel It and Keep Moving

• the word “no” because it means failure • word “yes” because it means responsibility • disapproving look because it means rejection
• the whispers and grins because they mean judgment, and
• the absence of support because it means abandonment

Let’s look at these five catalysts to failure and how they can be overcome.

Abandonment Little James Earl was scared. His father had left family to become a prize fighter and actor. His mother had left to earn money as a tailor. The Great Depression had stolen his family and he was about to lose only life he had ever known.

His grandparents had adopted him and now they were on their way to Michigan.

Rejection Though his life in Mississippi had been one of abandonment, it was all 5-year-old boy had known. The move to Michigan so traumatized him he developed a stutter.

His first day of school was a disaster. His stuttering made his classmates laugh at him. It was final straw for a frightened little boy. He closed his mouth and simply quit talking… for eight years!

James Earl was completely mute – with exception of conversations he had with himself when he was all alone. He found solace in written word – creating poetry to release raging in his soul.

Judgment As is often case, one person who saw beyond his limitations released James Earl from his self-imposed prison. That one person was an English teacher who saw talent in silent 13-year-old. She pushed him beyond his fear by forcing him into public speaking – insisting he recite a poem in front of class every day.

Can’t you imagine his terror when he first stood in front of his classmates? What made him do it? Was it only teacher’s insistence? No. It was a deep desire to break free from his prison and speak all things that had sat silently in his heart during all those years. He chose to feel fear – and then do it anyway!