So rang out scorn of a killer talk show host on a television station in Cleveland. When I was on tour in his city, John Kelly quoted Leo Derocher who said just opposite -- “Nice guys finish last.” Kelly also quoted from books like Winning Through Intimidation, Looking Out For Number ONE and possibly, Succeeding With A Swift Kick To Groin.

John Kelly had done everything except put a dunce-cap on my head as he seated me on a stool before cameras and, despite his complete ignorance of what I was teaching, proceeded to ridicule my leadership seminar for managers, pastors, teachers and other professionals. He held my book up for audience of some three hundred people -- with tens of thousands more watching from their homes, and asked;

Who can believe this drivel? Everyone on earth knows that a nice guy or gal hasn’t a choice in this lousy, rotten world. You gotta be tough and mean to be successful. Everywhere! How many agree with me that this stuff is nonsense? Raise your hands.

That was premature since no one there had any idea what I was teaching in seminar, but they voted as Kelly asked them to. Many had preconceived notions and about two hundred people in studio agreed with John. He then asked, How many agree with -- he didn’t actually say it -- this dunce on stool, but his non-verbal communication made his meaning quite clear. John was all geared up to take me apart for writing something he didn’t understand. He pointed to overwhelming number of hands in air and said; Take it from there, Doc. Let’s see how you handle this rejection. He sat down in audience, as all three cameras zoomed in close -- to watch me sweat, I suppose. Because I knew what my program was all about and he didn’t -- I countered by agreeing with host. I said;

If you consider a nice guy or gal a doormat, a wimp, a marshmallow -- I agree with you completely. Such a person doesn’t have a chance to succeed in a tough, competitive world in which many other persons are striving for same things we want for ourselves. The tough-minded guys and gals will run over wimps in a very short time. I, however don’t think of doormats of world as truly nice guys and gals. I see nice persons as competent and intelligent persons who understand nature of influence, cooperation and persuasion power -- as those who;

MANAGE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM

SHARE THE REWARDS OF ACHIEVEMENT WITH THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HELP THEM SUCCEED

CREATE COMMUNITIES OF SATISFIED ACHIEVERS IN WHICH EVERY PERSON IS A RESPECTED MEMBER

And that, I said to group, is my definition of a nice guy or gal, of an authentic, emotionally honest parent, teacher, manager, pastor, military officer or what have you!

I folded my arms and sat back on stool -- waiting, for I had said all I intended to in defense of NICE GUYS AND GALS. So, I waited and waited -- for John to rouse up from his confusion. I could almost hear gears whirring in his head as first one cam- era and then another zoomed in on me and then on to John and panned audience be- fore coming back to me and John -- for almost a minute. And that, is an eternity of dead time on television. The camera operators were getting frantic when John finally stood, shook his head to clear his thoughts and muttered right on air;

Well, I’ll be damned! I never thought of nice guys that way.

Most people don’t but we then had a great time on his show. I convinced him my approach is by far best way to succeeding throughout life, rather than by clawing and screaming, trying to defeat everyone else, destroying relationships that create friend- ship and love, clogging your arteries and corroding plumbing that keeps you alive -- with bile and acids boiling through your vascular and digestive systems.

John had people vote again and this time all but two men of three hundred or so in audience voted that nice guys and gals did indeed have a greater chance at success if they followed my view of sound relationships. They immediately saw wisdom in my approach and I trust that you also shall understand it that way! The next Sunday, after I’d returned to Minneapolis, I drew my pastor aside, told him my tale and joked;

If you had my percentage of conversions, we’d have largest congregation in country!

MAKING YOUR LIFE COUNT

This course is about people and about succeeding or failing in life, since some degree of success and failure are only real options that are open to us. It is written with knowledge that neither power nor pleasure exists in a vacuum. Virtually everything good we do in life requires cooperation of people in different ways. And every one of them has his or her own agenda that is personally important.

Therefore, you will have to overpower, out-skill, deceive, or persuade others before society will consistently allow you to share in marbles, money, passionate lovers, prestige or promotions you want. Only in this way can you make your life count for something worthwhile.

Of course, few of people who are succeeding are willing to share their hard-earned knowledge with you. Mentors are hard to find and they always want much in return for any help they offer.

The purpose of this course is to teach you how to predict attitudes and activities of men and women you must influence every day in order to keep your life successful. It also shows you how to influence their choices in ways they approve by using sound methods of personal effectiveness. You can do these things by learning and using powerful techniques developed by some very good psychiatrists and psychologists. These methods are unknown to most people, although professional therapists, consultants and social workers have been using them for decades with much success.

I’m one woman who did everything well. I stayed out of trouble in school, married right guy and joined a great company when it started taking women seriously. I’ve made sound business decisions along way and shall surely become a V P before I’m forty. I live in a home my parents think a mansion and have two beautiful children. I do a job thousands envy. Obviously, I have everything. Right? Wrong! Much of my life feels incomplete and caught up in trivia. My kids are rebelling with sex and drugs and I’m almost certain my husband is having an affair with a little twerp. I feel deeply dissatisfied at most inopportune times, as if nothing counts except for my sixty hour work weeks and paying for house and Mercedes. There must be more to life than this but when my therapist asks what‘s missing, I can’t even tell her. I worry that I’m going mad to feel this way despite my accomplishments in company and my prestige in my community. What do I do when I’ve won everything I’ve ever wanted and it isn’t enough to keep me happy?

What, indeed -- and what of many persons who fall short of her achievements, who fear life is passing them by, who feel stuck in their careers or frustrated in their relationships? They are not mentally ill but virtually always spiritually maladjusted through secular values, negative attitudes, low expectations, immature beliefs and often irresponsible choices. They are left wondering how they can find consistent satisfaction. Our work answers Catherine’s troubling question along with a great many more. Our emphasis is on joyful living through spiritual values (or ethical virtues), positive attitudes, high expectations, mature beliefs and responsible choices. We have learned as Viktor Frankl, Karen Horney, Karl Jung and many others taught, that unfortunate souls who are suffering from neurotic ailments and existential alienation, are those persons who have failed to find a consistent sense of meaning that assures their satisfaction through life’s several stages. We have also learned that few persons are going to simply get lucky and have fulfillment handed to them on a solver platter. Life is filled with many quid-pro-quos in which we must do our part wisely and well to have life become consistently satisfying as a by-product of our responsible choices.

Obviously this means that those persons doing best they can -- while still feeling stuck in their careers, dissatisfied with their love relationships and anxious that life is passing them by, must learn better ways of managing their existence. Of course, that is what this book is all about!

This approach was first conceived when Jard was psychology professor and convocations chairman at Olivet College. He had Viktor Frankl flown from Vienna to campus to lecture and counsel about his approach to psychospiritual healing. Viktor had written several outstanding books, including MAN‘S SEARCH FOR MEANING, PSYCHOTHERAPY AND EXISTENTIALISM and THE DOCTOR AND THE SOUL. The Viennese psychiatrist and psychologist called his approach Logotherapy -- which means spirit healing -- for existentially frustrated or spiritually bankrupt souls. Viktor, who spent more than three years in Nazi Germany’s brutal death camps, was spiritually transformed by his covenant relationship with God despite suffering and fear surrounding him, into a virtual saint. Even in that anteroom of hell, with God’s help, he found meaning by helping others survive. In our distinctive religious approach to Logotherapy, you shall study crucial presentations and use revealing reality checks, self-focus exercises and powerful projects to consider serving society well, worshipping devoutly, relating warmly, persevering bravely, learning wisely and playing enthusiastically. New insights can lead to spiritual values, positive attitudes, high expectations, mature beliefs and responsible choices that enhance life for persons who apply them wisely.

This approach when piloted some hundred times in business organizations, churches, professional associations and universities, often received a standing ovation from many participants. The authors won a 3.68 evaluation with it on a one to four scale for years. We have learned, in our presentations that range from hour long church forum lectures, to business seminars, to three day summer college classes, that participants are indeed fascinated with our materials. And while we are not entirely unbiased, we feel this interest is result of our addressing vital human needs that are seldom considered in commercial seminars or even religious classes -- despite their importance to each human soul. We are dealing in applied Logotherapy -- healing of human spirit through a covenant relationship with God Cosmic Creator.

If you or a loved one faces career, relationship, emotional or spiritual challenges that leave you dissatisfied and feeling stuck in life, worried that life itself is passing you by, that your life is bereft of meaning, this can be most valuable single experience of your life. It can and will assist anyone seeking consistent fulfillment in many special ways -- that is, helping reader find satisfying sources of lasting meaning in those places of heart where he or she belongs.