Mr. Cheapie's Frugal Shopping Tips

Written by David Leonhardt

Hello. Mr. Cheapie here again with three more fantastic I-can't-believe-I-didn't-think-of-that frugal shopping tips. I already gave you my best frugal eating tips at:

Now let's move away from food, because it is to always important to buyrepparttar sizzle, notrepparttar 118164 steak. That'srepparttar 118165 first tip. Ifrepparttar 118166 steak was any good, why would Madison Avenue spend all its efforts sellingrepparttar 118167 sizzle?

Let's face it, you don't care which widget fits intorepparttar 118168 combotubulator underrepparttar 118169 hood; you just want a sporty new set of wheels painted in flamethrower red.

Here is how you negotiate downrepparttar 118170 price of a new vehicle. Just say, "No engine, please. No transmission. No coolant. Nothing underrepparttar 118171 hood, please. Nothing that doesn't shine when I polishrepparttar 118172 car in my driveway.

You would be amazed atrepparttar 118173 astounding bargains you can negotiate on a new car with no engine. Plus,repparttar 118174 car will weigh much less, so you will save on gas.

Next, head over to your favorite furniture superstore to buy a TV. Tip: NEVER buy a TV at an electronics store. They will try to sell you a whole bunch of useless and expensive features. The last thing you need is another 962 satellite channels that never seem to have anything on anyway.

Go straight torepparttar 118175 wall unit section ofrepparttar 118176 furniture store. They always display life-size cardboard TVs in this section. Most people leave their cardboard TVs behind when they pick up their wall units, so you can get yours for a song.

As a bonus, you always know what is showing on your new cardboard TV and you can save even more money by canceling that useless satellite or cable service.

Next, head torepparttar 118177 office furniture section and check outrepparttar 118178 desks. See those cardboard computers?...

Apply this principal to any electronic equipment - telephones, microwave ovens, blenders. Imaginerepparttar 118179 fortune you can save just by saying "holdrepparttar 118180 steak." If you’re a technophobe, you'll be even happier.

But what if you really, really wantrepparttar 118181 steak? Suppose you run out of ice cream, you've eaten all your foam mattresses and food stamps, and you are so hungry that you are willing to pay forrepparttar 118182 steak?

By Now, I'm a Expert at Memory Loss

Written by David Leonhardt

I sat down to write my weekly humor column, but I just could not remember what I wanted to write about. This seems to be an increasingly more common affliction, ever since I turned 40. For instance, like most people over 40, I often can't remember my age.

In fact, I am quite certain I am not yet 40. How do I know? Well, I can't remember turning 40, for starters.

But memory loss is nothing new for me. It began when I was born. Try as I might, I just cannot remember being born. This strikes me as strange. Birth is arguablyrepparttar most momentous and triumphant event in a person's life. It isrepparttar 118163 reason I am alive. It is my coming out party. Birth is a tremendous opportunity for personal growth and a fairly important prerequisite for developing proper social etiquette.

People even celebraterepparttar 118164 anniversary of my birth every year by converging on my house or throwing heart-attack-inducing Surprise!! parties. But strangely, none ofrepparttar 118165 birthday celebrations have helped me remember my birth. Even stranger is that people who could have no memory of my birth, such as my wife and younger brothers, keep celebrating it.

Perhaps memory loss isrepparttar 118166 result of trauma. We block out from our memory traumatic events. Like birth, for instance. Imagine being squeezed through a steel toilet paper tube with mucus and blood and other assorted ooey gooey stuff, with something resembling an alien tentacle protruding from where your bellybutton is supposed to be.

Sure, birth was my highest moment of triumph, but I am in no hurry to repeat it. I prefer to retire while I am still atrepparttar 118167 top of your game.

Little Sister had a more traumatic birth than many, and we posted her child birth story with pictures at: . Fortunately, she did not retire atrepparttar 118168 top of her game, as she continues to improve.

I have never been able to remember names either. Perhaps that is because meeting people is also traumatic. I say that in jest, because that is what I am supposed to do in a humor column, but many people find it very traumatic to meet new people, which is one ofrepparttar 118169 reasons I recommend them to The Fine Art of Small Talk:

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