Zapit News, Issue No. 1 - Date: 17th August 2003Zapit News takes a fresh, thought-provoking look at how to save money, time and stress at work, while conserving natural resources. It contains practical ideas from twenty years’ experience with thousands of people across
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In this historic first issue: 1. Two more held in Paper Arrests 2. Microsoft Windows "MT - Matter Transfer" platform debuts 3. Children visit an "Office" 4. Taxes to rise to pay for "Earth on Rocks" Initiative
Two more held in Paper Arrests, New York, 16th August 2030 Two men are in custody in New York today for allegedly using paper to send a printed sales letter to their customers. Police were alerted by several companies who had received two-page flyer in contravention of paper usage laws ratified by US senate in January 2028 prohibiting use of paper for all commercial communications. Readers will remember this was in response to need for forest conservation. The letters, copies of which have been seen by this publication, seem genuine and, amazingly, compound error by using coloured ink, itself outlawed in related after concerns about pollution. Detective Maloney, 17th Precinct, said, "We are investigating many aspects of this disturbing case, including use of printers to produce letters. Everybody knows that only specimen printing devices are now retained in museums for educational reasons and other use is strictly prohibited. Probable fines will include cost of replacement trees, energy and other consumables, plus usual $100,000 "Green" fine for contravening environmental legislation. These guys use shock advertising tactics to get customers' attention and hope to get away with it. As you know, this is top of our priorities and Mayor Ramirez is being kept informed." The letters are not in category of recent industrial sabotage cases where Company A sends out printed flyers advertising Company B's products to ensnare Company B in relevant legislation. The investigation is ongoing.
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Microsoft Windows "MT - Matter Transfer" platform debuts - Bangalore, 9th August 2030 Rory John Gates, son of recently retired father Bill Gates and newly-appointed Chairman of Microsoft Corporation, announced at company's worldwide HQ in Bangalore, India, yesterday that trials of company's new Windows MT ("Matter Transfer") device had proved "more than satisfactory". "Although, as with any new technology, there are teething troubles at outset, we are broadly satisfied with progress to date and aim to release device to beta testers next month." The MT platform is intended to allow customers to place articles as large as a basketball in a container connected to their PCs which can then be attached to an email and sent to someone else possessing an identical device anywhere in world. Possible applications include transmission of valuable objects, such as items of jewellery, scientific and IT devices. Technical staff explained that at present it is only possible to "Move" objects, not "Copy", even to one person, as matter imbalances could occur within planet. One cynical correspondent asked Mr Gates if releasing device to mass market wouldn't just encourage lazy people to send multiple cups of coffee to co-workers, even if working at home, thereby increasing obesity pandemic, currently affecting 93% of world's population, through almost total lack of physical movement in daily life. Mr Gates replied that, "It would indeed be wonderful if MT device could send multiple cups of coffee (or, more importantly, create new forests to resolve global crisis), but technically it is not possible to create matter, only transfer it. Anyway, how would system handle different versions of same cup of coffee for those who take milk and sugar?" It was pointed out that system could also prove a blessing for drug smugglers. However, future releases will contain software filters to check for digitised chemical representation of an object to prevent drug transfer. This should also prevent thieves from transferring items from victims' houses to temporary addresses. Similarly, people sending objects anonymously of a romantic nature, such as bunches of flowers on St. Valentine's Day, could have problems. It is thought that flowers are now so expensive due to rarity that this would not be an issue. Mobile versions of device, allowing transfer of forgotten sportswear or packed lunches to children, are thought to be far off due to power requirements and portability issues. Quite what happens if platform crashes half-way through a transfer is not known. Would recipient get half a coffee, or a whole, transparent cup? As Microsoft systems are now so reliable, however, this was not thought to be likely. In demonstration, a 1,000 dollar bill, with serial number noted by video link, was transferred from a customer's prototype device in Los Angeles to Microsoft HQ. Reporters were struggling to understand quite how world had changed, although at least, as some remarked, "MT" did not stand for "empty", as originally suspected.
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Children visit an Office - Berlin, 15th August 2030 A group of astonished 5th grade children were shown round Germany’s only remaining "history-office" ("Historischesarchivmuseumarbeitsbüro") this week on a school trip designed to show changes in working practices in recent past. "The children were amazed to see that even as recently as twenty years ago people travelled every day, sometimes for over an hour, to a place far from their homes to work", said teacher Fräulein Grüber (age not given). "The children’s astonishment alternated with loud bursts of spontaneous laughter at absurdity of idea." Venerable museum curator Gerhard Gräber, 71, remarked, "Offices such as these saw playing of famous ‘German bureaucrats’ game, of which only rule was that first person to move, loses. The game’s popularity saw it spread quickly to all other public and private offices world wide and it is still, apparently, practised by some employees in their home offices. People would mainly get together in ‘office’ to chat about previous night’s television at locations in building called ‘coffee points’. Light banter called ‘office gossip’ and flirting would take up many blissful hours, speculating who would be promoted or sacked in between sending email jokes to co-workers and looking for holidays (or other things) on Internet. We were so ‘busy’, but really we got very little done, particularly when computers were down. Ha! Ha! Ha! Happy days!" One of children, Gottlieb Gröber, 10, said, "We could not believe that special buildings were made just for people to work in! All that land, heating, lighting, air-conditioning and then to fill them with desks, paper and carpets!" "When our teacher said that 70% of space in these ‘offices’ remained unoccupied during ‘office’ hours, we did not believe her. So this is where pollution came from - driving to these places! Imagine time and effort it must have taken every day just to get there and stare at a computer like one at home. Just how did companies make any money?" Part of visit covered a time almost pre-Internet when people could not get free, 3-D video conferencing on demand and, of course, Sensotron technology had not been invented, so people could not digitally feel, smell and taste anything. Young Gröber remarked that using one of their three annual SocialKid days to visit ‘office’ as a group had been a bit like recreating those far-off times and said his friends quite liked all being together, instead of learning remotely alone at home. A return of ‘office romance’? For better or worse, not for these young people.
