Lee Majors portrayed a man capable of leaping tall buildings and scanning landscape at night. We marveled at possibility of creating a human with superior qualities. In opening sequence of each episode, we heard phrase, "We have technology." The implication was that we could--and should--use it to transform a high market value man into a formidable man/machine mix.

My definition of an excellent human is someone who is mindful of maximizing his or her own potential for creativity and compassion. That seems like plenty to tackle, but there is an emerging school of thought that suggests we ought to become excellent superhumans. Transhumanists believe that continual evolution of humans requires the--key word here-- ethical use of technology to help us live better, longer lives. For them, a life span of 80 years may be what "nature intended" for this decade, but our role as 21st century humans is to use what we've learned to improve upon nature.

These aren't doom and gloom types who live in a fantasy world or anticipate a future run by robots. Transhumanists are passionately optimistic about role of humans. They're excited about possibilities for people to truly maximize their potential. They believe that human development is limited only by our current technology.

Title: Is This Right Person for Me? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 865 Category: Relationships

Is This Right Person for Me? By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

“How will I know when I meet right person?”

I often hear this question in my counseling practice. The answer is fairly complex.

There are two different reasons that people have for wanting to get married:

1. To get love, validation, security and safety.

2. To share love and to grow emotionally and spiritually.

People who feel insecure and alone are likely to look for someone who will fill inner emptiness and give them love they are seeking. They want to find someone who will complete them and make them feel adequate and worthy. The problem is that no one can do this for another person - it is something we each need to learn to do for ourselves. Since we are always attracted to people who are at our common level of woundedness or our common level of health, a person looking to get love will attract a person also looking to get love. Each person hopes to get filled from other, not realizing that each feels empty and really has nothing to give. Therefore, no one is right person when intent of getting married is to get love and security rather than to share love and learning.

Instead of asking question, “Is this right person for me?” why not ask, “Am I being right person?” Am I being a person who comes to a relationship filled with love to share, or am I being a needy person hoping to get love and validation?

The main reason that many relationships don’t work out is because each person is disappointed in not getting what they expected to get from other person. But when a person does not know how to love and validate themselves and create an inner sense of safety and security, they certainly can’t do this for another person. Yet this is what each person expects of other. It’s like trying to get water from a rock. What do you have to give when you feel empty within and want to get filled through another’s love?