Momma's RulesWritten by Joyce C. Lock
Zero Tolerance Learning from Momma Momma's Rules
Our Daily Chores
When one has a larger family (in order to keep peace, harmony, and sanity), structure and self-discipline become almost mandatory for all parties therein. In addition, having come from an abusive past, dissention of any kind threw mom into a tailspin. Perhaps as a result, she was always teaching about what love is and anything less was never going to be acceptable. Though, her plan of defense accomplished multiple purposes at same time; keeping both house and home together for however Lord might call upon our family next.
And being that mom also had gift of teaching, one always knew there was purpose and benefit in her rules. The lessons that constituted our daily chores went something like this ...
People tend to be polite, not only to others they do not like but even to those that actually make them angry. They'll even work at it, as to how to remove themselves from a situation in which they really feel like exploding. And, most generally, that is considered to be a good thing, to maintain one's composure amidst adversity. However, they tend to take those bottled up frustrations home with them, then take it out on ones they love most; which makes no sense. Why would you work harder toward giving a right response to people you don't even care about than you do when upset with those you love? And, why would you want to keep hurting people you really love and need?
Family is to stick together, to love each other, and to be there for each other. When you make family your enemy, you will always eventually lose. Besides, you may need them to be there for you, some day.
It is never ever ok to hurt people you love. Acts of unkindness would be responded to with penalty and fighting met with even further resistance; no exceptions.
1.) Part of being a valuable member to society is to take responsibility for your own actions, instead of leaving whatever mistake or mess you make for others to have to deal with. And, not only is not very loving to expect mom to be your maid but, in real world, there will be no one to fix your messes or mistakes.
So, a good place to begin learning accountability is this ... if you make mess, it is yours to clean up. In fact, this doesn't even count as a chore. This is your responsibility as a person, in addition to chores.
2.) Laziness is an ugly spirit, void of love; exemplary of one's lack of wanting to be a participant of whole. Not only is it unkind and sometimes hurtful to neglect at other's expense, but it is also dirty, unsanitary, and thoughtless of anyone besides themselves. Therefore, it will not be tolerated.
Every child is to have one age appropriate chore assignment per day, at least week days (whether that assignment includes more than one chore or not); excluding kitchen.
Then, if an additional family project is needed, it might be taken up on a weekend (everyone pitching in); wherein mom made working together fun and job got done faster, too.
Ties that BindWritten by Joyce C. Lock
~ Ties that Bind ~
When growing up, if there was a sibling dispute, mom had perfect solution. She would refuse to choose. In stead, mom would bang our heads together. She'd say that it takes two to fight ~ so we both got it. Now, that really hurt! But, it worked, every time. We'd hush, immediately. Though we didn't like it, we didn't dare say another word.
Even today, we make effort to get a-long with family. Though, that doesn't solve all things ~ as we look to family for approval as to who we are. In that way, they still disappoints us ... always expecting something more.
It may have developed as a result of depression, when parents prayed that their children would never have to experience anything so hard. But, whatever case, it use to be that adults believed way to encourage their young, to be all that they could be, was to find fault with everything that could, yet, be improved upon. No doubt, somewhere, we've experienced, first hand, that mentality still lingering.
Yet, best tool we can provide is to receive our children as already valuable members; who's gifts, abilities, thoughts, heart, and feelings are important, received, and appreciated as unique and special creations of (not us, but) God. (Hey, this works in churches, too.)
That's right. We're called upon to teach our children, but not to try to re-create them into an image of us or us we had hoped to be ... no graven images. News Flash ... when God made you, your mate, children, siblings, friends, neighbors, boss, and even your preacher ... in all cases, God did not make a mistake.