Regardless of our individual circumstances, we share a common bond - that of being a Mother. Being a Mom is an incredible experience but it is also very consuming. We have all experienced an incredible change from our pre-mother lives. Most of these changes are very positive but one that we all have trouble dealing with is a loss of our sense of self. At some point, we realize that we have let being a Mom become our entire identity. When my children were two and four years old, I realized that Tracy Lyn was missing. In tears, I realized I had lost my sense of self. In looking for myself, I decided to try doing a triathlon, thus setting one goal. Wow! The focus of that one goal, one thing just for me, re-established my sense of self. That initial goal led to five more triathlons, becoming an entrepreneur, a professional speaker, and now an author. During long process of finding my true self again, I also became a better Mother.

Efficiency is doing job right. Effectiveness is doing right job. Be effective first.

You may need to think this one through a bit. We often spend a lot of time doing something right when we shouldn’t even be doing it at all. I remember during university, I was cleaning my bathroom very efficiently. I even found a contact lens that someone else had lost – before I moved in two years earlier. However, I had final exams next day. I was not making effective use of my time. Effective use would have been to study.

Think about how often you spend a lot of time doing something well when you should be doing something else. Mothers often do this. “Oh, I just have to get dishes done and then I will play.” Or “I have to finish this and then we can go to park.” We get annoyed at our children for interrupting us doing a menial job, when effective use of our time is likely to enjoy our children before they grow up. This doesn’t mean we should live in a messy house but it does mean we need to ask ourselves this question every so often: “Am I being Effective first? Am I doing right job?”