Let's look at them...

Definition of 'Conflict' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It helps if we first define what we mean by 'conflict'

* Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two parties, both of whom perceive interference from other towards achieving their goals

* A conflict can only exist when both parties are aware of a disagreement

The 5 types of negative communication that lead to conflict ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Negative communication We all know a 'Negative Nigel/Nancy' in every team — they exist and we find it near impossible to remove them. But constant negativity drains other team members of enthusiasm, energy and self esteem. So Nigel and Nancy need to be confronted with their behaviour.

This can best be achieved if all of other team members individually feedback effect of this behaviour on them. An 'I message' is best approach for this—such as, "Every time I put forth a suggestion your negativity frustrates me and I find it hard to work with you."

* Blaming communication Blamers spray blame around, effectively stopping reflection and scrutiny of their performance and behaviour. However, their impact can be reduced by fostering a learning environment, as well as use of 'I messages', peer pressure and individual feedback.

Find out what blamer's issues are and try to address them one by one.

* Superior communication 'Superiors' frequently order people about, direct, advise and moralise. They are also very skilled at withholding information. Such behaviour sets up team members for frustration, resentment and sabotage. But 'superiors' and their behaviour can be addressed with individual assertiveness and 'I messages'

* Dishonest communication Dishonest communicators frequently fail to practice listening to understand and fail to display empathy. They also display circumlocutory communication — also known as 'talking around issue, not addressing it'.

It's kind of like casually wandering around outside edge of a garden when what's really required is to walk confidently through middle of it. Dishonest communicators also often use royal or imperial 'WE' statements — as in, "We are not amused" - when in reality it is just they who are not amused.

They also deliberately choose to not address unprofessional behaviour or behaviour that is damaging to team and its mission. All of which leads to a dysfunctional team. But it can be addressed: everyone in team must insist on open, honest communication, foster mutual respect, stop blaming, bullying and harassment.

* Selective communication Selective communicators only tell what they think others need to know, hence keeping themselves in a position of power over other team members. Such behaviour can be effectively addressed through assertive requests for having access to all information.

Let's take a moment to consider each of them in workplace.

Extrovert: someone who probably has a messy desk; who leaves projects 75% completed then gets distracted by new, 'more exciting' projects; someone who communicates their ideas with enthusiasm and charm; makes instant decisions; hates 'paperwork' and 'dull routines' of life, such as filling in order forms, checking bank statements, etc.; is usually 'fashionably late' to meetings, events and parties (and they love entertaining clients!); always has interesting screen savers.

Amiable: someone who is 'peacemaker' in office; is always striving for a 'win-win' in everything in life; someone who probably isn't terribly ambitious and striving, but is very happy to support and encourage others who are; someone who cannot say "No" very easily and so are probably on every committee going (whether they actually want to be or not); is more likely to make a decision on spot if only to stop you 'hassling' them, otherwise will take weeks to make a decision (if at all, as they prefer others to make decision for them); like to know what others are doing (in case they themselves are doing something inappropriate or foolish).

Analytical: 'GadgetMan' - has multiple PDAs in case one fails; has several computers for same reason; adores punctuality; when they tell you they recently bought something they won't round number up but will tell you to exact dollar and cent how much they paid; loves playing with spreadsheets, charts and projections; will never make a decision on spot; will buy a car based on fuel economy, servicing costs, resell value, depreciation and other factors, never 'because it's a lovely shade of blue'.