One of
most valuable life skills we can learn is how to meet our safety needs. We are responsible for maintaining minimum balance in our safety accounts. When we learn to meet our own safety needs, every area of our lives--including our relationships--improves dramatically. Meeting our own safety needs is relatively simple. Meeting other people's safety needs, however, is a bit more complicated. MEETING OUR OWN SAFETY NEEDS When we realize that we feel unsafe or that our fight-or-flight response is active, first thing we must do is evaluate if we are actually in a dangerous or threatening situation. If we feel unsafe walking through a deserted parking lot in middle of night, we should certainly honor that feeling and stay on our guard! When used correctly, fight-or-flight response is designed to save our lives. We simply need to learn how to weed out false alarms. If we feel unsafe and there is no reasonable threat to our life or limb, then our fight-or-flight response was activated by our egos, and we can safely disengage it.
The most common reason that we feel unsafe is that we are projecting our attention into future or past. Our power only exists in present; when we worry about past or future, we give away our power and feel unsafe. The "Present Moment Safety Exercise" on following page can help to return our awareness to present moment, and bring balance in our master safety account back to its minimum level.
Often, in order to feel safe enough to even do this exercise, we need to create some space. If we're feeling unsafe in a discussion or an argument, we may need to simply walk away--to take a few moments to let our tempers cool. Even though our partner in discussion may not pose an actual physical threat to us, if we're experiencing boundary violations in discussion, we will need to reinforce our boundaries and reclaim our space before we can address our safety needs.
PRESENT MOMENT SAFETY EXERCISE Stop whatever it is that you are doing and take a few deep, cleansing breaths.
If possible, find somewhere to sit or lie down, and then let yourself feel supported by chair, floor, bed or sofa.
As you become aware of your body, and aware of your breathing, feel your mind begin to quiet.
Gently release your attachments to any thoughts and simply observe any activity of your mind.
Softly draw your awareness back to present moment. The more we worry about past or future, more unsafe we feel. The only place we have any power is in present moment.
Experience truth that in present moment you are safe. The past has already happened, and future does not exist yet. Remember that we create our futures through our choices.
Take a moment to feel truth that in present moment--in this moment, and in every moment--you are supported, safe and nurtured. Because you are an individualized aspect of All That Is, your needs are automatically met.
Let your awareness rest on your breath. Let your mind quiet. And for a few moments, simply be. Simply experience what it feels like to be completely safe, completely supported.
You can now consider your current situation from this place of safety, support, and power. You can evaluate your options objectively. You are free to make most elegant choices available to you. You choose, knowing that your choices create your reality. You choose to experience truth that you are fully supported in this moment and in next. And these choices create a present and a future where your needs continue to be met easily and effortlessly.
