“Each friend represents a world in us, a world of possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Anais Nin

I’ve been thinking about some of my clients who have expressed concerns about being authentic and connecting with people. One client lives in a rural area and is having trouble connecting with like-minded people. She feels isolated and lonely. I have another client who is hesitant to be her authentic self yet longs for a meaningful relationship. It got me thinking, why is it so hard for us to share our humanity?

About 3 years ago I participated in a life-transforming program that challenged my beliefs and thoughts about myself. For two intense yet wonderful weeks I put myself in hands of trust and began to let go of limiting stories I had created that kept me from fully experiencing my life and being me.

One of exercises I was invited to experience was called “May I join you?” The instructions were as follows: We were to be dropped off in middle of a food court in a bustling downtown shopping area. We were to purchase our lunch, find a stranger or group of strangers sitting at a table and simply ask, “May I join you?”. If we received an affirmative response we were to sit down, not reveal why and eat our lunch.

Now this might not seem like a big deal to some of you, especially if you are from a non—American culture. But, let me assure you, it was a big deal for me, and most of other participants. As we rode together to appointed location there was a flurry of anticipation and nervous energy.

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HOW TO JUMP FOR JOY AFTER JOY LEAVES YOUR PARTY

By Doug C. Grant

Ever hear this one?

"Man...this growing older stuff is pits. Teeny bobbers own world. I mean you ever see an ancient of days hustling soft drinks or flashy cars on TV? No way. Once you get past 'young' you might as well hang it up. Joy is over."

Yeah, I know. You don't believe that. You don't ever want to believe that. And there's no reason why you should. But you may well have to perform a constant tune-up on yourself once you start losing speed. Otherwise, you could find yourself permanently parked in pits.

It's a sneaky business. Every year you end up doing more things for last time and fewer things for first time. One day, you wake up and find that joy has left your party.

Here's an exercise that will help you recover some of joy of life.

Consider for a moment that you have been given an opportunity to roll years back to age 20. Not only does your youth return but with it comes a fat unending bank account. Pretty nice, huh?

But don't waste opportunity. On a sheet of paper, list things you would like to do or learn now that you're young and rich. Remember, neither age nor money is a problem. Start writing.

Would you like to learn to fly? Climb a major mountain? Take up scuba-diving? Write a book? Start a newspaper? Visit a foreign country?

Pull out all plugs. Soar over all obstacles. If you can think it...write it! Don't let fear or 'I'm just being realistic' attitude stop you. Go ahead. Be unrealistic. This is dream time, baby. Let it all out.

Don't take more than ten minutes for this part of exercise. That should be enough time to list all your major dreams...plus any dreams you might have packed away years ago.

Now...let's do some dream-scheming

Review your list and draw a line through any dream that is simply physically impossible. For example, if you're fifty years old, chances are a major league baseball team isn't going to get excited about having you on roster.

However, you may discover that you don't have to scratch off very many dreams because of physical limitations. Particularly if you ask yourself, "In what ways could I make this dream come true based on my abilities today."