Mastering the Fine Art of Hinting

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Currently circulatingrepparttar Internet is “Man’s Rules”. The sender requests you send it on to all females, so that women will “finally understand men.” It’s a list of things men want women to understand, and like all humor, it makes a point. Then again to men it might not be so humorous.

And here we go on communication …

Point number 6 is: “Ask for what you want. Let us be perfectly clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Hints DO NOT WORK!

So I could endrepparttar 126165 article here, except this isn’t about male and female communication, it’s about hints. It’s about communication:

·Communication is much harder than it appears to be. Assume you’re being misunderstood, and also assume you are misunderstanding are two good basic assumptions to make. ·The more you care aboutrepparttar 126166 person andrepparttar 126167 relationshiprepparttar 126168 harder it is to be direct, becauserepparttar 126169 stakes ofrepparttar 126170 turndown are higher. ·Men aren’trepparttar 126171 only sex that doesn’t get “hints” ·Hints DO NOT WORK.

Now let me elaborate.


We need to get something straight fromrepparttar 126172 beginning. Allrepparttar 126173 coaching, allrepparttar 126174 psychology, allrepparttar 126175 Charm School, allrepparttar 126176 Emotional Intelligence, allrepparttar 126177 seminars, lessons and eBooks inrepparttar 126178 world will not get your what you want allrepparttar 126179 time.

That’s a sad fact of life. Sorepparttar 126180 more you want it, andrepparttar 126181 more you want it from a certain person,repparttar 126182 morerepparttar 126183 risk.

There are many situations where we feel we MUST have something. A compliment, a reassurance or a word of comfort from our partner. A project deadline met at work. A contract signed. A larger part ofrepparttar 126184 pie. For our child to wearrepparttar 126185 pink dress instead ofrepparttar 126186 dirty blue jeans. A date. A marriage.

Never is it guaranteed. The more vague and “hinty” you are about it,repparttar 126187 less likely you are to get it however. Here’s one reason why. Ifrepparttar 126188 person has it to give, and wants to give it, they’ll give it. If not, they won’t. Any ‘vagueness’ leaves you in that territory where they can pretend to give you something you pretend you want. And ah,repparttar 126189 resentment.

It’s easier inrepparttar 126190 long run. Take your “nos” upfront and move on. Either into a more convincing argument, or on to another source, or downgradingrepparttar 126191 “need” to a “preference.”


I don’t see this as particular torepparttar 126192 male ofrepparttar 126193 species. It can exist betweenrepparttar 126194 sexes, that’s for sure, but I’m afraid to breakrepparttar 126195 news that I think it happens between all people.

I’ve had male bosses tell me things that were completely incomprehensible to me. They might as well have been “hints” for allrepparttar 126196 sense they made. I consider, “Produce a pleading,” when I don’t know what a “pleading” is to be “hint.”

Just because women are traditionally ahead in empathy and inrepparttar 126197 area of personal relationships, we consider asking for nurturing or comfort to be hints, but it doesn’t remain just with females.

I think men ask also “hint” for things. They ask for something else when they don’t know how to ask for what they want, or what it’s called, and in that sense, it’s a “hint.”

Take kids for instance – always a safer topic, right? When your three year scoops his plate offrepparttar 126198 table and on torepparttar 126199 floor he’s “hinting” that he doesn’t like something. I almost wrote “doesn’t like what’s being served,” but it could be anything with a three year old, and that’srepparttar 126200 trouble with “hints.” Maybe it wasn’trepparttar 126201 carrots butrepparttar 126202 plate or his little sister.

Hypnotic Myths

Written by Rita Ballard

Even though hypnosis has been around officially sincerepparttar 1700s (Franz Anton Mesmer), there are still questions as to its validity and benefits. Forrepparttar 126164 most part, these questions stem from fear and ignorance. Regarding this subject, it is generally assumed that what you don’t know can hurt you. People’s viewpoints on hypnosis vary according to what their experiences have been and what they’ve heard.

I am a stable, responsible, levelheaded, intelligent person. I am also a licensed hypnotherapist. One ofrepparttar 126165 requirements for finishing hypnotherapy training was to go out and practice what you’ve learned; my obvious targets in this endeavor were primarily my family and friends.

My oldest child staunchly refuses to have anything to do with hypnosis, even now (I’ve been a hypnotherapist for 6 years.). She is not a child; she is in her early 30s and is a successful video producer. Still, she says that she’s not going to do something that might get her “lost somewhere and unable to return.”

My second child has volunteered to be hypnotized by me numerous times. He lovesrepparttar 126166 experience. He enjoys how relaxed it makes him feel, and he believes that he derives great benefit from it.

My third child is aloof aboutrepparttar 126167 whole subject. He doesn’t validate or discount it one way or another. He’s just ‘to busy’ to give it a try.

I am curious about people who draw conclusions about hypnosis when they haven’t actually experienced it in some way. It baffles me how a person can discount it when hypnosis has not negatively impacted them or someone they know.

I’ve had people tell me that hypnosis is “the devil’s work”, yet I know of pastors who practice hypnotherapy in their counseling practices. I’ve had professionals say to me, “Yes, but does it actually work?” Well, does dieting actually work? Does imagery actually work? In order for something to “actually work”repparttar 126168 user has to have a certain amount of belief in it. So, whether or not hypnosis actually works depends onrepparttar 126169 belief ofrepparttar 126170 subject and to some degree,repparttar 126171 skill ofrepparttar 126172 hypnotherapist.

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