Managing the Pain of Abusive Relationships

Written by Kim Olver

How many times have you said, “I didn’t have a choice?” This is a phrase that is uttered by many to justify their behavior or complain about their life circumstances. Surely, we can continue to believe there are no choices, but it is my belief that kind of thinking is what greatly contributes to our frustration and limitsrepparttar strength and amount of personal power we experience.

Whenever you are in a situation where you believe there is “no choice”, remember that there are always at least three choices. Every situation has at least these three possible solutions: you can leave it, change it, or accept it. Each option will look different in every situation.

Let’s examinerepparttar 144942 options of a woman in an abusive relationship. I am concerned that women in abusive relationships have no safe place to seek help or to talk about their issues. There is an embarrassment about sharing what is happening in their lives. An abuser will convince his victim that she is in some way to blame for his abuse. This, often, will cause a person in an abusive relationship to suffer in silence. I want to provide a safe place forum for women needing to share and to learn that they are not alone.

I, in no way, mean to imply that there are no men living in abusive relationships. This can create a seriously demoralizing situation for a man. How does a man explain to his friends that his wife or girlfriend beats him up or is constantly verbally and emotionally abusive? I believe there are many more men in such relationships than we think. Because they carry a special stigma if they admit what is happening in their lives, most stay silent. There can also be domestic violence in same sex relationships. However, forrepparttar 144943 purpose of this article, I am writing as ifrepparttar 144944 perpetrator is a male andrepparttar 144945 victim is a female.

The first choice in a situation such as this is to attempt to changerepparttar 144946 situation. Many women will try to have everything perfect for their spouse or partner. They walk around on egg shells, believing that if only they are better, more loving, more submissive, quieter, more invisible, then their man will not hurt them. Many women in abusive relationships are willing to put in a lifetime attempting to change their partner’s behavior. Of course this is a futile attempt because people do not change for someone else. They change when their current behavior stops working for them and sometimes not even then. I might ask a woman, “How long are you willing to wait for him to change? You’ve already spent 10 years, are you willing to spend 10 more?” This is a question onlyrepparttar 144947 woman can answer because she may be willing to wait her entire life. It is not for me or anyone else to decide what is best for another person. After all, we are not in her skin. We can only presume what we may do inrepparttar 144948 same situation butrepparttar 144949 right answer for us may not berepparttar 144950 right answer forrepparttar 144951 person going through it.

The second possible outcome is to leave it. In an abusive relationship, this would mean endingrepparttar 144952 relationship. Many women in abusive relationships are afraid to leave because they believe their partner will hunt them down and possibly kill them or at least claim their “property” and forcerepparttar 144953 woman to return. Statistics tell us that more women are killed in abusive relationships who remain inrepparttar 144954 relationship than who leave but tell that torepparttar 144955 family ofrepparttar 144956 one woman who left and was killed by her husband. Statistics don’t do much then. Again, it is easy for us to decide it would be best for a woman to leave her current situation but do we really know what’s best for another person? Do you want to berepparttar 144957 one carrying that responsibility? Leaving is definitely a viable option but it should only be made byrepparttar 144958 woman who is inrepparttar 144959 relationship. There are organizations set up to help victims of domestic violence escaperepparttar 144960 violence of their situation butrepparttar 144961 laws become very tricky when there are children and custody situations involved. Some women stay because they won’t leave their children. Many stay because they are committed to their wedding vows that said, “In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.” No one can decide for another person that she must forsake her vows if keeping them is her highest value. I might ask a woman if she has considered all of her options and thought ofrepparttar 144962 consequences of each choice. Then, I would ask if she believes that leaving isrepparttar 144963 best option and is she willing to payrepparttar 144964 possible consequences of that choice. Is payingrepparttar 144965 possible consequence of leaving preferable to staying inrepparttar 144966 current situation? Isrepparttar 144967 risk worth it? For some, it definitely is.

Have You Done Your Hair Care Correctly?

Written by Loraine Lesley

Love your hair like you going to lose it. Hair is delicate, growing stuff which need to be handled with care. A lot of care will make your hair healthy, shiny and also beautiful. Beautiful hair is an asset for any woman. Some are gifted with naturally beautiful hair while others have to really work hard on it. But essentially everybody has to work on hair either for improving or for maintaining them.

Hair has been called as “crowning glory.” That’s because hair is covering our head like a crown which can influence our appearance. Sure, your appearance will be good if you can make your “crowning glory” looks good, shinny and healthy. That’s why you need to do your hair care diligently. Don’t wait until you have damage hair to make your move.

Tips for Your Hair Care

To help you taking care of your hair, here are a few hair care tips which might help you:

- Understand your hair type. Being understand your type of hair, such as, oily, dry, natural, curly, straight, kinky or what ever, you can correctly treat your hair with product that is useful to your type of hair..

- Pick shampoo that give benefit to your type of hair. Apply shampoo from root to tip - gently work downrepparttar hair. Don’t pile up hair while lathering! Rinse thoroughly under running water.

- Choose conditioner that works with your shampoo Always condition after shampooing. Apply conditioner from tip to root. Comb your hair while condition through hair to ensure distribution and penetration. Use as much conditioner as your hair can absorb.

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