Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 6, Deadlocked Discussions

Written by Steve Kaye

Although a meeting is a vehicle for resolving differences, it can break down whenrepparttar participants become mired in a disagreement.

Approach 1: Form a subcommittee

Ask for volunteers fromrepparttar 135547 opposing viewpoints to form a subcommittee to resolverepparttar 135548 issue. This is a useful approach, because: 1) The issue may require extensive research, which is best completed outsiderepparttar 135549 meeting, 2) The people who causedrepparttar 135550 deadlock will be responsible for solving it, or 3) The effort to resolverepparttar 135551 issue will test its priority. That is, if no one wants to spend time finding a solution, then perhapsrepparttar 135552 issue (or at leastrepparttar 135553 controversy) is unimportant.

Ask for a subcommittee by saying:

"There seem to be concerns about this issue. Rather than use everyone's time inrepparttar 135554 meeting, I want a subcommittee to resolve this and report back to us. Who wants to be on it?"

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 7, Personal Attacks

Written by Steve Kaye

Personal attacks hurt people, mar communication, and end creativity. If they become part of a meeting's culture, they driverepparttar participants into making safe and perhaps useless contributions.

Approach 1: Speak torepparttar 135546 group

Setrepparttar 135547 stage forrepparttar 135548 group to enforce its culture by making a general comment. Look atrepparttar 135549 middle ofrepparttar 135550 group and say:

"Just a moment. Let's pause here to calm down. I can tell we're upset about this. And we want to find a fair solution for everyone." (Take slow deep breaths and relax to model calming down.)

After saying this, pause a moment to letrepparttar 135551 group respond. Often, someone else will support your request. Then continue as if everything were normal.

Avoid looking atrepparttar 135552 attacker when speaking torepparttar 135553 group. Making eye contact acknowledges and returns power torepparttar 135554 attacker.

Approach 2: Explore forrepparttar 135555 cause

Sometimes people throw insults from behind a fence of presumed safety. You can disrupt this illusion by saying:

"Chris, you seem upset with that."

"Pat, you seem to disagree."

"You seem to have reservations about this."

I realize these statements may sound like naive responses to an insult. However, such understated responses improverepparttar 135556 situation because they sound less threatening, feel easier to deliver, and preserverepparttar 135557 other person's self-esteem. Realizerepparttar 135558 attacker may have viewedrepparttar 135559 attack less seriously than it sounded.

These statements also transferrepparttar 135560 focus fromrepparttar 135561 target torepparttar 135562 attacker's feelings. And this is what you need to talk about in order to resolverepparttar 135563 dispute.

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