Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed

Written by Toni Coleman


Chances are that you have had a wide variety of experiences in your quest for meeting singles. These can range from an event that yields several nice interactions and at least one offer to get together for a date, to going home feeling frustrated and convinced you are destined to be a dating failure.

If you had made a note of your mood, your general attitude, your level of comfort, (and other related factors) after each experience, you would have some very useful information. Forrepparttar attributes you carry along with you to these social gatherings will have a great impact onrepparttar 101781 outcome of each.

The following are tips for helping you to presentrepparttar 101782 best you to others. As you read each, do a quick inventory of how you rate in that area. It's always helpful to ask friends to weigh in with their observations. The more information,repparttar 101783 better.

1. Present yourself as confident and in possession of a healthy self-esteem.

In general, people are attracted to those who appear confident and who feel good about themselves. Certainly, this is a turn-on for you as well. If you feel desirable and sexy, it makes sense that others will too.

If low self-esteem is a problem for you, this should berepparttar 101784 first area you work on in yourself. It is not necessary to have overrepparttar 101785 top confidence, just a sense that you are someone that has a lot of positives to offer others.

Do some reading, take a class that teaches assertiveness and/or practice daily affirmations. Remember also that when you treat yourself with respect and adhere to healthy boundaries with others, you will foster a healthy sense of self.

2.Be Yourself

NEVER try to be someone you are not. Not only do you come across as insincere, you also will present as uncomfortable and make others feel this way right along with you.

Trying to be cool, aggressive, (etc.), generally just makes you awkward and unapproachable. Relax, be natural, berepparttar 101786 you that your friends and others who know and like you, see and appreciate.

Think back torepparttar 101787 times you have witnessed someone "acting" in a social situation, andrepparttar 101788 general reaction of those around them. Then think aboutrepparttar 101789 people you know who are good at meeting others. These arerepparttar 101790 people who present their true (best) side.

Deep Doghouse Communication for Angry Men

Written by Newton Hightower


Word wrap to 60, (751 words) ****************************************

Many times when an angry or rageful man comes intorepparttar office to see me forrepparttar 101780 first visit, he is in a deep crisis. Such wasrepparttar 101781 case with Jerry. He was inrepparttar 101782 “deep doghouse.” He was separated from his wife and she had filed for divorce. A man is inrepparttar 101783 “deep doghouse” when his wife is very angry and most ofrepparttar 101784 communication is her expressing anger, displeasure and criticism of him.

Although Jerry was deep inrepparttar 101785 doghouse, he was what I call an eager customer. He was not interested in spendingrepparttar 101786 session explaining to me how he was right and she was wrong. Neither was he particularly interested in exploring his psychological make-up or that of his wife.

Jerry was an engineer with 20 years at a big oil company. Often, therapists complain of engineers because they are slow to get in touch with their feelings. However, engineers are my favorite clients because they putrepparttar 101787 pressure on me to provide something that works and works quickly. He wanted something to prove to his wife that he was making a dramatic change.

We discussedrepparttar 101788 importance of abstaining fromrepparttar 101789 15 behaviors that trigger rageaholics. Jerry said that he would work to control his behavior. He said that he would not be in this predicament if he had been abstaining from these behaviors all along, especially profanity.

The next week he said that things were no worse with his wife and he had not lost his temper. I complimented Jerry on his good work. He had done a great job of not exploding, even when his wife was cursing him and calling him names. Jerry went to great lengths to stop his profanity, name- calling, mocking and threatening, and he even kept a quiet voice.

When I asked him what he wanted to get out ofrepparttar 101790 next session, he said, “I want to learn how to stop arguing with her, if that is possible.” He said that they kept having very long arguments that went on for hours onrepparttar 101791 phone. I told Jerry that there were three words that would stop any argument: You are right.

These words will stop an argument because in order to have an argument, there has to be a disagreement. Without a disagreement, it is impossible to have an argument. Now these words go against some of our training as men. What we men have learned is how to hang on to being right. I was told that I should never give up when I was right. I was taught to stick to what I believed. And this idea of sticking with what you believe, never stopping, hanging on to being right, may be useful in many areas of your life, but I think you probably have found that it is not useful in your marriage.

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