Make the Connection: Start Disciplining with LoveWritten by Nicole Brekelbaum
How to stay connected with kids while setting limits.To discipline is to teach. When we discipline we teach our children to have self-control, to be considerate of others, and to feel secure. A home with no discipline is a recipe for chaos. Parents become exhausted and easily stressed. Children feel out of control, oftentimes exhibiting unacceptable social behavior without any real consequences. As parents we owe it to our family to maintain order. We discipline our kids as a means of setting limits and restoring a state of equilibrium in home. But how do we effectively discipline? The first step to discipline involves saying “NO“. This can be difficult for some parents at first since a verbal “NO” is usually encountered by whining, anger or sobbing from a child. But who said disciplining was an easy task? It is difficult as it involves an array of emotions, but doable since we are mature adults powered by love for our kids. Through our love for our children we are inspired to be positive role models and to discipline with love. When we discipline with love we go a step further. We want our kids to understand consequences of their behavior. We say “NO” but we also help to redirect our children’s inappropriate behaviors. We offer alternatives and present opportunities for good behavior. For example, John is preparing lunch in kitchen for his four year old son, Mark. As he glances out in living room, he sees Mark tearing sheets of newspaper and spewing it all over carpet. He says “NO” to his son in a serious tone and suggests that he helps him set table for lunch. Mark reluctantly responds and helps his father. With patience and love, John has helped redirect his son’s behavior. Mark can understand through his father’s approach that his actions were inappropriate. When we discipline with love, we only discipline when it is absolutely necessary. We learn to choose our battles wisely. This is important since children often feel urge to stop trying when parents constantly criticize their every move. We can help our children improve their behaviors by presenting fewer rules for them to follow. Younger children (birth to 2 years) in particular need to start with only one or two rules. Older children can possibly handle more, but how much a child can handle is solely dependent on child’s personality and his developmental stage. The key is to help boost your child’s self-confidence by giving him opportunities to achieve a bit of early success.
| | Playing Baby Computer Games – The New Parent-Child Tradition?Written by Emma Rath
Imagine cuddling up with your small child to look at a picture book together that is interactive, musical, responsive and talks to you?This is experience that people are having who are engaged in that relatively new pastime – playing computer games with babies. JumpStart’s Knowledge Adventure calls it “lapware”, Kiddies Games’ logo is “Hop on lap and tap”, and Sesame Street’s “Baby and Me” opens with an animation of a baby monster hopping onto lap of a Daddy monster to play computer. Playing computer games with your baby is being promoted as a fun activity that a child and their caregiver can share together. And rightly so, because whatever activity, physical, loving closeness is an important ingredient that infants need for healthy intellectual, emotional and physical development. Reading a bedtime story to a small eager child is a tradition in many homes. As children get older, this may be replaced by watching TV together. Our parents’ families listened to radio together. Playing on computer with a small child may become a new type of family tradition. Home computers and internet are making their way into more and more homes. Some parents use computer in their work and are delighted to share computer for a fun activity with their kids. Other parents want to make sure their children become computer literate. Well-designed, interactive, educational computer games engage small children as much as television and are more educational than TV because they incite child to interact and think, rather than passively watch and listen. These are reasons for increasing popularity of toddler computer software. Although a relatively small industry, software for infants has been cited as being a very fast growing industry. What type of computer software is available for babies, toddlers and preschoolers? There are free games on websites and there are download and CDROM software that you can buy. Most software for this age group is games, but computer story books also exist. Wonderful websites that offer free games of which many are suitable for preschoolers (preschoolers are able to do directed clicking with mouse) are: http://www.sesamestreet.org/sesamestreet http://www.noggin.com http://www.cbc.ca/kidscbc http://www.abc.net.au/children/games http://www.meddybemps.com Great free sites for babies (whose skills tend to be more limited to banging keyboard) are: http://www.kiddiesgames.com http://www.toddletoons.com CDROM or download software that you buy is usually better than free internet games. The games are usually superior (more graphics, more music, more involved games for older kids) and software takes over entire screen, which is more appropriate for very young children who click anywhere and everywhere on screen. Some of well-known producers are: Reader Rabbit software from http://www.learningcompany.com JumpStart software from http://www.knowledgeadventure.com Fisher-Price software from http://www.knowledgeadventure.com Sesame Street software from http://www.encoresoftware.com or http://www.amazon.com http://www.babywow.com Computer game softwares for this age group make conscientious efforts to be suitably educational. To judge their effectiveness for your child, try them out with your child. If your child finds that it’s fun, then it’s probably educational. For a baby, fun usually means that game responds in some way to random keyboard presses and mouse clicks, and that game continues in a positive way even when no input is forthcoming from baby. A preschooler will need more of a challenge or more educational content, but game should be designed to be always fun, reactive in a positive way and self-resolving when child does not get correct answer. At this age, it is more important that computer games contribute positively to self-esteem, rather than conscientiously correcting incorrect answers about educational concepts that child will master when they’re older anyway. The KiddiesGames.com software is meticulous about adhering to these rules.
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