Now, as we get older two things paramount in our minds are health and money. Health, we will deal with at a later date, but, meanwhile, as they say 'keep taking tablets' and by that I mean eg. a good multi-vitamin and mineral, extra Vitamin C during these winter months, Omega 3 (pure fish oils), perhaps Echinacea to boost immune system, Glucosamine & Chondroitin to help joints, and Ginkgo Biloba to help circulation, and

Money, well it's time to remind you that if you have any savings and tax man is siphoning off 10% or 20% of your interest, then don't forget (if you haven't already used up this year's ISA allowance) that you can put £3,000 out of tax man's reach by investing in a mini-cash ISA. It is important to remember that this year's tax-free ISA allowance must be used before end of this tax year which is 5 APRIL 2005. So there are only a few weeks left ... and as saying goes 'If you don't use it, YOU WILL LOSE IT!

So, still thinking of money (or lack of it) why don't we get together and pool our ideas? Let us come up with great ideas that won't cost us a penny.

A: They all have Japanese tattoos!

Japanese tattoos are cool. Of course, if you have money to burn like any of these ladies, you can afford to hire a professional translator to pick out perfect character combination. But if personal translation is out of your league how can you avoid becoming a kanji fashion victim and get stuck with a tattoo you will really regret?

1. Know difference – hiragana, katakana and kanji

Before you talk to your tattoo artist, make sure you know what you are talking about. You say you want a Japanese tattoo, but what do you know about Japanese characters? You need a quick stint in 2-minute Japanese boot camp.

First off, let’s be clear that there is no Japanese “alphabet”. There are three sets of Japanese characters – hiragana, katakana and kanji – and each group has its own history, function and style. Get your head around these facts and you will already know more than 99% of people walking around with Japanese tattoos right now:

Hiragana – These simple, rounded characters represent sounds, but have no independent meaning. They were developed by women in Heian period and are still considered feminine by Japanese people.

Katakana – Developed by Buddhist monks around same time as hiragana, these are simple, angular characters that also represent sounds and have no meaning of their own. You saw them cascading down screen in Matrix (although they were backwards!)

Kanji – Originally from China, these characters are like pictures, representing a meaning and also several different sounds depending on situation.

Just reading this has probably given you an idea of which style you might like for your tattoo – but don’t stop just yet! Now you know what kinds of Japanese characters there are, let’s move on to…

2. Writing styles

Come a bit closer. Lean forward towards screen. That’s right. Now, look at words in front of you. Take a good, close look at shapes of these letters. OK? Now tell me honestly: Would you want a tattoo in Times New Roman? How about Tahoma? What’s that? You don’t want a tattoo by Canon or Epson? Sure you don’t. And in same way, you don’t want to have your Japanese tattoo looking like a printout either!

So, now we move on to writing styles. Just like there are three kinds of Japanese characters, there are also three ways they can be written. Don’t worry. This is easy! I know, you are thinking that you can’t even read Japanese, so how on earth will you be able to recognize these different styles? Well, try this:

Kaisho – Block letters. You learned to write your ABCs like this, and Japanese kids learn to write their characters in just same way: Like a Volvo – boxy but good.

Gyousho – Cursive letters. You moved up to middle school and learned you could write faster by letting parts of some letters flow into next. Yes, you guessed it - Japanese do same thing, and they call it gyousho.

Sousho – Super-cursive letters. Ever seen a prescription from a doctor? Then you know what sousho is like in Japanese: Sure, writer or some other trained person can (probably) read it, but no one else has a clue what it says!

Are you getting picture? If you want to look like a computer printout, then be my guest and go for kaisho style. That’s your choice. But I think you probably want to use either gyousho or sousho for your tattoo. My personal preference would be gyousho: It’s stylish, but it won’t leave even native speakers baffled.

3. Real or fake?

Remember I mentioned Mel C at beginning? Well guess what kanji she got tattooed on her arm? That’s right – “Girl Power”: Great in English, but show this kanji combincation to most Japanese people and you’ll get a blank look at best. Want a worse example? Try “big daddy”. Now, you know what it means in English, but put it into kanji and you end up with “large father”! It just doesn’t work.