Are society's relationship myths causing you to give up on love or settle for less than what you want?

Most of people who taught us about love are people who don't let themselves be loved. Hello? What's wrong with this picture? A little wacky, yes? Yes!

In truth, is there any good reason to withhold love from yourself? The accurate answer is "No!" Let's do a Reality Check on love.

Myth No.1 - You have to work at having a good relationship.

Reality: A relationship that is good for you does not take work. If you have so many problems and disharmonies in a partnership that it feels like work to stay involved, then person is not right for you. Differences of opinion, style and preference should be a source of intrigue and attraction, not a quagmire of argument and conflict.

Myth No.2 - Negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are necessary for two people to have a successful partnership.

Reality: Not every day! Frequent negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are warning signs of a doomed relationship. If you find yourself having to negotiate, compromise or sacrifice more than once a week to keep your partnership going, that relationship has too many natural disharmonies to be right for you, or other person. Fun, nurturing, lasting partnerships are based on natural mutuality-an organic harmony of traits and values that already exist before two people meet, not after they both give up their spirit to "make things work." If a relationship is hard, troublesome and requires a lot of struggle and effort, guess what? No amount of communication or counseling is going to make that connection easy, fun or fruitful.

Myth No.3 - All good ones are taken.

Reality: Every single person has a special, perfect someone waiting for them. The togetherness we long for is assured. We have pre-arranged with one, or more, personal soulmates to meet this lifetime in order to help each other open to love. All you need to do is remove living room couch, refrigerator and kitchen sink from blocking front door to your house (heart) so that your destined lover can get in!

Myth No.4 - You can borrow good qualities from your "better half."

Reality: You can for a while. But you need to quickly become-rather than borrow-those good qualities. Otherwise, you're dependent on other person for better qualities. Enjoy intimacy as a mutual exchange of energy between interdependent equals. Address your flaws, and become type of person you'd like to date. The Law of Attraction rules in seeking a partner. Like vibration attracts like vibration. If you possess qualities that you want in a partner, law of attraction will work for you.

Myth No.5 - If I can just change my partner's behavior, things will be better.

Reality: Famous last words! YOU can't change other people. They need to evolve on their own path at their own pace. Besides, you are always dating yourself anyway! In truth, your partner is solely-souly-a liberating mirror reflection of your own consciousness. You must change your inside world for outside world to improve. You are always meeting yourself in others. If you're not happy with type of person you are attracting, take a look at type of person you are.

Myth No.6 - A member of opposite sex-or energy-will balance me out.

Reality: Being balanced is an inside job. Fuse forces of your feminine and masculine energies to tap your full potential. Cultivate playfulness, laughter and self-revealing humor. Invite serendipity and surprise to reveal your other side. Welcome unexpected and spontaneous from yourself!

Myth No.7 - I have to take what I get; I can't be choosy.

Reality: Invoke basic Feng-shui Law of Vacuum: You must be willing to walk away from what you don't want so that you can be available (empty, receptive, open) for what you do want. The next perfect partner for you can't come into your life if your love space is filled with someone you are tolerating, settling for, or simply using to avoid loneliness.

Myth No.8 - I'm stuck with a lousy Love Script.

Reality: You can re-write your Personal Love Theme with a better ending. Choose to be innocent (free) of effect of past. Performing an autopsy on a failed relationship can be a very valuable tool in helping you understand which areas you need to work on to be more successful in your next relationship. Then be willing to acquire or develop skills and qualities required to help you be more successful in your next connection.

“It is difficult to live in present, ridiculous to live in future, and impossible to live in past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.” Jim Bishop

When people suggest that I “live in moment” I understand concept and can recognize value (I read and loved Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power Of Now”). But I secretly wonder, “How on earth do you really do that?”

Yesterday, I spent one of last glorious days of summer lazing on beach with a dear friend. We were basking in final rays of afternoon sun when conversation turned to his single status. He shared with me that an old girlfriend, currently married was potentially about to be single again. Knowing he had a “thing” for this woman in past, and a desire to be in a relationship now, I was all over “potential” that they may yet end up together.

Sensing his overt lack of enthusiasm over my colorfully painted vision of his future, I asked him what was up; to which he replied, “I don’t live in past or future, I live in moment”.

“Live in moment? What heck does that mean? How do you do THAT?” I retorted, with plenty of excitement in my voice. He told me he didn’t know how he did it, he just did.