Love, Marriage and Money

Written by Johnette Duff


The f-word. Finances. Combining love and money may berepparttar biggest stumbling block onrepparttar 111141 path of true love, creating more rifts in relationships than in-laws, drug and alcohol addiction, or infidelity.

Financial power struggles challenge evenrepparttar 111142 most solid partnership. Unfortunately, money too often equates to control in a relationship. The delicate balance of power between you is dependent onrepparttar 111143 successful combination of love and money.

Inrepparttar 111144 majority of relationships today, both members contribute financial resources. Despiterepparttar 111145 strides women have made toward financial equality onrepparttar 111146 job, though, men still have greater earning power. In general, with more disposable income, men invest more money and take greater risks than women. Women as a whole are more conservative in their investments because it takes them longer to earnrepparttar 111147 money. Money attitudes are also influenced by age, family upbringing, religion, and each person's own unique financial trials and errors.

Everyone has opened a bank account, paidrepparttar 111148 rent or mortgage, keptrepparttar 111149 telephone and electricity turned on. When you makerepparttar 111150 decision to share your life with someone, though, such mundane issues suddenly become complicated.

Do you keep separate bank accounts or do you put allrepparttar 111151 money in one account? How do you split monthly expenses? Do you each pay a portion or do you pay bills out of a joint account? Should you be able to sign on your partner's bank account? Did one of you bring assets torepparttar 111152 relationship thatrepparttar 111153 other uses, such as a car or a home, for which expenses should be shared?

Financial advice for couples over fifty varies significantly depending on age, economic status and dependents. Every situation is different, butrepparttar 111154 following is general advice for everyone.

Many modern couples keep their finances separate, while others opt to pool all their funds. Makingrepparttar 111155 decision onrepparttar 111156 day-to-day handling of what was formerly “his” and “her” money can be a tough one.

There are benefits to keeping separate property funds separate and maintaining certain assets in one name only, which we'll explain in more detail inrepparttar 111157 next chapter. Keeping other monies separate may create logistical problems, though, along with a diminished sense of common goals forrepparttar 111158 future. Combining your funds also gives a couple greater borrowing and investment power.

Raising Strong Daughters

Written by Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC


When my daughter was born, I must admit there was a distinctly different feeling to it when compared torepparttar birth of my son. Part of me was thrilled, but part of me was unsure of how to deal with a gender that I still couldn’t quite understand.

When my son was born there was a clear sense that this was territory that I knew: there will be wrestling, playing ball together, playing with cars and, he has a penis! There was a sense of security from all of this and a deep sense of knowing.

Raising a daughter creates different issues for many fathers; it is even more challenging consideringrepparttar 111140 cultural landscape that exists today.

To better understand these issues, it is helpful to explorerepparttar 111141 expectations of girls that we have as fathers, many of which may be expectations handed down from our own fathers.

Some men feel a strong need to control their daughters, and expect them to act “nice” at all times.

Others shower their daughters with all ofrepparttar 111142 gifts and "things" that they’ll ever need, seeing them as weaker than boys (therefore not encouraging strength and discipline in them).

It’s easy for fathers to treat their sons and daughters differently. They can be rough-and-tumble with their sons…but treat their daughters with kid gloves. This opportunity to wrestle or to play physically with your daughters is extremely important, because it shows them that you believe they are capable enough to handle it. (If your daughter is eighteen, it’s probably not a good idea to start now.)

The cultural messages we get are that girls and young women are valued for being beautiful, thin, talented, etc. Girls should also be happy, agreeable and eager to please. This cultural backdrop may be partly responsible forrepparttar 111143 alarming statistics concerning rates of depression, anorexia, bulimia, and other disorders for girls when they are approaching or have entered their teen years.

So how can fathers overcome some of these barriers and help create daughters who become strong, secure women?

If fathers want their daughters to grow up to be strong and secure women, it is absolutely essential that they like women and that they respect them.

No matter how negative and pervasiverepparttar 111144 cultural messages are, your daughter’s self-esteem is greatly impacted by your attitude. If fathers think that women are weaker and need protection, they will tend to raise daughters who are weak and dependent.

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