Living with PainWritten by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
Pain is an inevitable part of life. In living with a chronic illness or chronic pain, pain is no stranger to us and we are likely to endure more than average person may endure. Much of pain that we experience can’t be eliminated or treated, so we have no choice but to learn to live with it. In my struggle to learn how to do this and to still find meaning and purpose in life I have learned many things and developed a new relationship with my pain. As a mental health professional and a person who lives with chemical sensitivity, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, I deal with a great deal of pain daily. In my own exploration of pain, and in my professional experience, I have found there are several intertwined levels of pain: physical level, emotional/psychological and spiritual level. Severe physical pain is likely to cause emotional distress as one struggles to cope with feelings of loss, grief and anger associated with diminished abilities or changes in lifestyle or identity. In forming a new identity that includes being ill, one may struggle with spiritual pain of existential aloneness. Questions such as “Why me? And “What is purpose of my life now?” may arise. I endure excruciating pressure, aching and pinching in my muscles, joints, bones, and head and I live with excessive fatigue and weakness. I have chronic headaches, which frequently turn into migraines. I have severe aching and stabbing pains throughout my gastrointestinal system and in my internal organs. I also have a great deal of grief and loss in response to limits illness imposes on me. For example, I have to completely avoid common everyday chemicals such as perfumes, air fresheners, pesticides, scented laundry products, and disinfectants. In avoiding these substances this means that I must also avoid people who may have these odors on their person. A large part of my life is spent alone at home or doing outdoor activities like walking or country rides. Even so, I have to be careful to avoid lawn chemicals or pollutants in air. It is particularly painful and frustrating to be prevented from participating in life as fully as I would like. There is no doubt that pain on any level is unpleasant and disrupting. It is only natural that our first response to it is to want to eliminate it as quickly as possible with whatever means are available. But I think there is a problem with how we are taught to view and deal with pain. Our culture teaches that pain is bad, unnecessary and should be quickly eliminated. If we are not successful at eradicating our pain we are viewed as weak or malingering. If we are in pain, then we (or our doctors or medical science in general) have somehow failed. The message in our society is that we should not feel. We are bombarded from advertising, media, medical authorities, etc. That we should never let ourselves feel any pain. The promise of pain relief is everywhere. If we have a headache or stomachache or muscle aches, or if we feel sad, lonely, anxious, depressed or shy we should take a pill that will fix symptom or feeling. And then we wonder why one of our largest problems in society today is addiction. This attitude actively promotes addiction. We are obsessed in finding and providing quick fixes and quick relief from every little ache, twinge, pain, grief or discomfort. In reality of my life, I have found there are no quick fixes and pain generally cannot be completely removed or controlled. Nor should it be. Some pain is necessary and serves a purpose as a messenger. We must often learn to live with pain effectively and listen to it rather than always trying to medicate it away. Although I do not subscribe to popular New Age belief that everything happens for a reason, I do believe that we can take a very painful experience and make meaning out of it. In spite of suffering illness may impose on our lives it may also help us to change, grow and learn. My illness has challenged me to redefine my identity, my values and my priorities, which led me to find deeper meaning in life. I have also found a strong connection to nature.
| | Ten Easy Techniques for Pain ManagementWritten by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
These techniques are helpful for Chronic Pain such as headaches, Migraines, myofacial pain, muscular and connective tissue pain, organ pain and just pain in general. 1. Go Into Your Pain Allow your pain to consume you and become one with it. Don’t resist it. Just let it exist in its fullest extent. Welcome it and embrace it. When you resist pain it becomes stagnant, if you go into it, it will flow through you. This doesn’t eliminate pain, but releases power it has over you and changes it form, therefore allowing you to function within it. 2. Breathe deep into pain. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose with your mouth shut. The abdomen should distend on inhale, not your chest, and then exhale very slowly while focusing your mind and your breath into area of pain. In your minds eye direct your breath into pain. Visualize breath flowing into painful area and melting it away. Do this repeatedly until you feel it begin to release and then move to another pain area and begin again. It may take several breaths to release it. It may also take a lot of practice to train your mind to focus into pain. I find this exercise more effective when I can close my eyes, but it is also helpful when your driving or in public places by doing breathing without closing eyes. 3. Stretch your face and jaw Open your mouth as wide as it will go and then gently push it to go a little wider. When you feel muscles in your jaw and head pulling and tingling then relax it. This will probably be excruciating and bring tears in your eyes, but it will release pain and you will have a lot of relief afterwards. Then pull your lips forward over your teeth and stretch front face muscles. Experiment a bit, wherever you feel pain and pull and stretch jaw in different directions until it hurts so bad you can’t stand it and then relax it. After doing this several times then do breathing into exercise described above and breath into all jaw muscles and connective tissue in shoulders and collar bone. 4. Self Massage and apply pressure to trigger points Gently massage area with pain. Use your 2nd and 3rd fingers to rub softly in a circular motion. This is also helpful on painful organs. Massage trigger points on collarbone, back of head or wherever they may be for you. Sometimes it is more effective to use thumb for deep penetration into areas such as collarbone. Gently press into trigger points until again it feels like you will go through ceiling and bring tears to your eyes and then release pressure. Do this several times to each painful or tender area. Sometimes just laying hands on painful area can give it some relief. After applying pressure to painful areas and releasing then do breathing into technique described above. 5. Take a Hot Shower Stand in shower with water as hot as you can tolerate and let it flow gently over painful areas. Also shut bathroom door and all windows so heat can build up in room. It is also helpful to apply pressure to trigger points, do gentle massage and do breathing into exercise while you’re in shower. 6. Have an Orgasm or Two An orgasm can bring about incredible relief to a severe headache, generalized muscular pain, and even a migraine. If you have one at beginning of your migraine it is possible at times to stop it from progressing. Of course when you are in pain you may not feel like having sex, and you certainly don’t want to get into habit of using sex as a pain reliever, but using it therapeutically now and then is very beneficial. If you can muster up desire and your partner is willing then act of sex itself, if you allow yourself to become immersed in it, can provide great relief by drawing your attention away from your pain. When you have an orgasm it has a natural pain killing effect on body. When sex is not desired and to avoid using sex too often for relief, then masturbation that ends with an orgasm will produce exact same pain killing effects. For women, getting a clit stimulator, which can bring about orgasm quickly, is very useful. That way you don’t have to spend much time at it. For men, well most men now how to handle themselves to bring about an orgasm in a rather short amount of time. If not feel free to talk to me about this.
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