You have permission to publish this article electronically free of charge, providing
entire byline at end of article is included and content is left unchanged. If you use it, please notify me with a copy of your publication or a url to where it can be found. For print publications, please contact me to discuss and to obtain US mailing address to send a courtesy copy. cynthiap@frognet.net “Living in Spite of Your Symptoms” by Cynthia Perkins © 2002
When living with chronic illness or chronic pain it is very easy to become completely focused on avoiding symptoms, consumed with symptoms or consumed with daily challenges of survival and thus forget to focus on “Living.” It is also very easy to allow your symptoms or fear of symptoms to control your life completely.
This is very understandable. Illness and pain can be all consuming and very frightening, but continuing to live is exactly what you need to do. Finding a healthy balance between your limits and living is essential for your mental, physical and spiritual well-being.
You don’t want to let your illness/pain become your complete identity and control your life completely. This is very important so that you don’t lose other important parts of who you are that enhance your life and so you don’t drown in negativity of illness. Yes, being ill is an important aspect of your identity and worthy of respect and recognition, but it is not all of who you are. It is a piece of who you are and your other pieces need to be respected and recognized as well. You are still a parent, a partner, an individual, a friend, etc.
Yes, in many cases illness/pain does often dictate our lives to sometimes an extreme degree, but there are areas where you can take control for a period of time. You can choose to participate in life and enjoy life in spite of your illness/pain. Do not cut yourself off from all life affirming activities or your life will be lacking in meaning, purpose and enjoyment. Find alternatives to your limits.
This does not mean you want to throw caution to wind and be wreckless with your health care, but rather you want to find some balance. You of course don’t’ want to do anything that will cause severe distress or exacerbate symptoms too much, but you can pick some activities that are life affirming that will have a minimal impact on your symptoms.
For example if eating out at a restaurant gives you a migraine or breathing difficulties, then having a nice dinner at home with loved ones or a picnic outside is a great alternative. If riding an exercise bike is too strenuous and causes symptoms then a nice stroll around block or park will be just as beneficial. If being in public places is problematic for you then maintaining relationships by phone or computer will sustain you.
Although we want to be respectful of our limits and learn to live within them, there may be times when we want to push ourselves beyond our limits just a little.
If I never did anything because I was in pain or having fear, then basically I would have no life at all. Much of my living takes place during great pain and suffering and fears. I don’t let it stop it me. Yes, there are days when I say, “I need to lay down and rest today,” or “the price to pay for this benefit is too high” but there are also days when I push forward even though I don’t feel like it and function within discomfort.
For instance, a few weeks ago I had makings of a minor migraine and for some reason, my writing “muse” came alive during midst of this. All I wanted to do was lay down, but instead I took a hot shower, massaged my trigger points and then let my “muse’s” thoughts flow out on paper and thus I now have a new article for my site to edit and upload. Sometimes I can do some of my best work in midst of great pain.
