Living Through LossWritten by Margot B
Usually words can't comfort grieving. Just being there in silence or listening is comforting. Nothing can change what has happened but being with bereaved is best we can do. The bereaved need companions who will truly listen and perhaps do some of small, everyday things that need doing--mowing lawn, changing oil in car, preparing a meal-- any number of things.Grieving is normal and unavoidable--it is a part of life, and it takes time. We don’t get over it, we get through it. Going through grief is a series of stages: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance, which is first step. You must come to terms with your loss and accept that it is real and permanent. The stages of grief are not necessarily in this order, but it usually takes one or two years, or sometimes 4, 5 or more years for a person to work through loss of a child or spouse, as well as a divorce. The loss of a job, home, health, all require a significant amount of time to work through. There is no time frame. We can’t control process and this makes us feel vulnerable and sensitive to outside stimuli. It needs to takes its natural course because if we try to deny our grief and keep our emotions bottled up inside, this can lead to chronic depression or physical illness. Recent research indicates that some kind of ceremonial farewell is helpful in aiding bereaved to adjust to death of someone close. We must acknowledge publicly and formally that something significant has happened or we may find more difficulty in grieving process.During grieving process, it’s normal to cry, lose your appetite, and withdraw socially. Eventually instead of living moment-to-moment with our deep feeling of sadness, we will experience these feelings intermittently. Then we can think about getting back to work, resuming our social life, doing our routine daily tasks again, such as cleaning house, paying bills, caring for children--even if we sometimes have to ask for help from
| | Easy Goal SettingWritten by Theresa Frasch
Are you forever trying to accomplish things but never seeming to get them done? You know you should set some goals but you don't know how to get started? Here is an easy way for you to set goals. Each step is represented by a letter form word GOALS. The GET Step Decide what it is you want to get. Do you want to get a new car? A degree? Better at something? Do you want to get away from it all on a vacation? Decide what it is you want to get and write it down. Make a list of all things you’d like to do and be, a list of all places you want to go, and things you want to accomplish. The ORGANIZE Step Organize your plan. First develop a plan by listing every step that it will take to get you what you want. One easy way of doing this is to imagine yourself as having already attained your goal. Then “look back” and make note of all steps it took you to get there. Don’t worry about order yet; just list as many steps as you can think of. Now, organize your plan by prioritizing your list. Make a list of order that will best accomplish your goal. For instance, if your goal is to get to Hawaii you would need to plan dates before you make hotel reservations. You would need to have a plan for saving money before you booked your plane. If some of items on your list look overwhelming, break them down into smaller pieces. If you want to write a book, break it down. Start with table of contents. Write a chapter a month. Write four pages per day. Make each task manageable. The ACTION Step Take some action every day to move you toward your goals. Every week write down three or four things that are most important to do to move you toward your goals and plan when to do them. Then do them.
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