Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face

Written by Marguerite Bonneville

Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describerepparttar mind’s tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present.

For example, if your mother fed you chicken soup when you were ill as a child, you will always associate chicken soup to being loved and cared for.

Onrepparttar 126078 down side, if you once contracted food poisoning from eating tainted pickles, justrepparttar 126079 smell of pickles will be enough to bring on a feeling of nausea many years afterrepparttar 126080 event.

How does anchoring work in relationships?

If you come home from work elated by a promotion and see your lover’s face, you will link that feeling of elation torepparttar 126081 sight of his or her face. Byrepparttar 126082 same token, if you hate your job and constantly talk about those feelings over dinner with your spouse, you'll unconsciously begin to associaterepparttar 126083 bad feelings with him or her.

In that case, you must make a conscious effort to share more good times with them so you will more readily associate positive feelings torepparttar 126084 sight of their face.

Sharing good times creates positive anchors or associations. It helps you to weatherrepparttar 126085 less positive times that every couple experiences at some stage in their relationship.

Breaking up is oftenrepparttar 126086 result of linking too many negative anchors torepparttar 126087 sight of your partner’s face, with no knowledge of how to counteract them by deliberately creating positive ones.

Here’s a common example. A young doctor whose wife works to help him through medical school may decide to divorce her after he graduates. This is because he associatesrepparttar 126088 sight of her face torepparttar 126089 hard times they experienced during those years. Of course this is all unconscious – all he knows is that he feels bad whenever he looks at her. He mistakenly takes this as a sign thatrepparttar 126090 relationship isn’t working.

Now that you know how anchoring works, use it intentionally to improve your relationship.

1. Plan positive events together and make sure you don’t let any negativity intrude onrepparttar 126091 event. Save arguments or disagreements for a later time.

2. Duringrepparttar 126092 height of an intensely positive moment you are sharing: a. touch your loved one lightly onrepparttar 126093 knee or arm b. squeezerepparttar 126094 person’s hand or c. put your arms around him or her. The next time you repeatrepparttar 126095 same gesture with this person in some other context, it will reawaken some of those original emotions in them.

"The Importance of Emotional Intelligence"

Written by Perry Akasha Lonsdale

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"The Importance of Emotional Intelligence"

- by Akasha Lonsdale

(c) Akasha Lonsdale. All Rights Reserved.


For centuries, emphasis has been placed on academic learning, qualifications and how intelligent a person was, ie: their IQ. Anything emotional was encouraged to stay hidden behindrepparttar 126080 “stiff upper lip” rather than being acknowledged and expressed. Attending “the school of hard knocks” was character forming. When employee training was introduced inrepparttar 126081 business world,repparttar 126082 programmes focused on areas relating to reason and logic – anything to do with interpersonal relationships was wishy-washy and classed as soft skills.

However all this is changing and not before time. The advances in neuroscience and brain imaging techniques have enabled scientists to confirm what we all suspected – that when we are confronted by situations that are life threatening or that we “perceive” are so, reason and logic fly outrepparttar 126083 window and what emerges is a primitive, ready- to-fight Neanderthal in modern day attire. The section ofrepparttar 126084 brain responsible for this instant bypass isrepparttar 126085 amygdala, hencerepparttar 126086 new term “the amygdala hijack”.

So forrepparttar 126087 first time,repparttar 126088 importance of emotions has been acknowledged. What we need to ensure is that those emotions are appropriate torepparttar 126089 circumstances and to do this we need to develop emotional intelligence, which researchers now consider to be far more important than traditional IQ.

Take, for example, a group of senior managers applying for a top position. They might all have MBAs but who will makerepparttar 126090 most successful leader? The answer:repparttar 126091 person withrepparttar 126092 highest level of EI –repparttar 126093 person able to create resonance with others, to display empathy and be an inspiring leader without being a traditional autocrat. Conversely, in research undertaken by Hay/McBer and Goleman,repparttar 126094 two main reasons found for key executive failure were:

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