Life is not a hardship to be enduredWritten by Charlie Badenhop
Life is always here, ready to teach us a "special" lesson of some sort or another, if only we would take time to notice. The street I live on in Tokyo is so narrow, that cars can barely traverse from top to bottom. Because of this, a system for lining up everyone's bicycles on one side of street is necessary and important. My wife, my daughter, and myself, park our bicycles across street in front of my neighbor's house. To me it seems unfair for my neighbor to have all this clutter in front of his house, but so be it. My neighbor's house sits one foot nine inches from curb. Pretty cozy, isn't it? Eight years ago, an innocuous looking weed-tree began growing right next to where I park my bike. You might think that a single weed-tree growing where my bike sits is not a big deal but let me explain. This little weed-tree started life in a humble manner, sprouting up in a crack between sidewalk and wall. Initially it seemed too trivial to pay attention to or pull out, and initially I even cheered it on while marveling at what a hardy pioneer it was. The little monster grew quite rapidly from day one, and after about six months it was wrapping itself around front wheel of my bike and birds were coming to rest on it. All of this activity led to bird droppings on my bike seat, which led me to take out my pruning scissors and cut darn thing about six inches above ground level. Ignoring weed in first place was my first mistake. Cutting it down six inched above ground level was my second. It grew back with a vengeance! In no time at all it had more branches than before, and base coming out of crack became more tree like. Foolishly, I was lax again in my approach, and within a couple of months, bird droppings started winding up on my bike seat again.
| | ResponsibilityWritten by Dr. P.C. Simon
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge as long as by-lines and resource box are included. A courtesy copy of publication would be appreciated. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Responsibility by Dr. P.C.Simon (copyright 2004) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Most of us do not want to take responsibility for our decisions or deeds. So, what do we do? We consult others and ask, "What do you think I should do?" Then we can blame other person for our decision. This is one way of manipulating others to take responsibility for our actions. Wayne Dyer in his book, Erroneous Zones, gives a few good examples how a patient tries to influence his psychiatrist to advise him to do this or that so that he could mentally put blame on his psychiatrist for his failures. When you take responsibility, you have to give up your favourite villains like elders, parents and friends who impose their suggestions on you, people who impose their ideas on you and people who put you down by saying "Oh no, you can't do it. You are not educated enough. You do not have enough money. You do not have enough experience. You are too old, etc." We have to take responsibility for our own actions and even for what happens to us, even if it is a rear end collision. If we are fat, depressed, inadequate, it is our fatness, depression and inadequacy and not anyone else's. The possession is ours. Only we can get rid of them. They are inside us. Should we not take responsibility for blinders we are wearing, our tensions, our perceptions, our beliefs and our prejudices? What others have done to us is minor compared to what we have done to ourselves. If we want to grow, we have to take responsibility for what we are doing. Intellectualizing can impair our emotional functioning. When we get angry, we blame others for our anger. That makes us feel better. Then we don't have to admit that these bad feelings and thoughts are part of ourselves. I am good. It is you who are bad. Think of a person you hate most in world. Conjure him up. Feel how disgusted you are in his presence and how you want to get away from him. Get all your feelings about him out. Do you hate him because he is a double dealer, dishonest, dirty, crooked, a cheat, mean, cruel, disloyal, always angry, gossips about you, cheap, drinks too much, and lazy. Think about a person who knows more about you than anyone else. If there is no such person, invent one. This person knows all embarrassing things you have done. He has goods on you, real dope and all your secrets. What are worst things he can say about you? Think about it and write it down. Now take all things you hate about yourself and compare them with what you hate about person you loathed. How much of this list overlaps? Can it be that both lists are virtually same person? What you are protecting yourself from in both instances is facing parts of yourself that you hate in others, what you fear or lack in yourself. You feel more comfortable seeing your faults as belonging to someone else. Which parts of list have nothing at all to do with you? No matter how many forces there may be which influence your life, there is always that part over which you have control. You can increase that control if you decide what it is that you want out of your learning, work, or play. You will be more powerful and less likely to be a victim. You will not be easily seduced into exchanging your birthright for a mess of pottage. You will no longer be vulnerable to being sold a bill of goods by a passing stranger. It is your life, not hers or his or theirs. It is yours. Frank Crane said, "Responsibility is thing that people dread most of all. Yet it is one thing in world that develops us, gives us manhood, womanhood, and fibre." John Dewey said, "There can be no stable and balanced development of mind apart from assumption of responsibility" "Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power" (Josiah Holland).
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