Self Help: Letting Go

Letting Go

Written by Carol Dorman

Do you feel less than you'd like to? Less happy, less confident, less "everything" than others? Sometimes your head seems just above repparttar

water even though repparttar 130781

rope you're holding is tight in your hands. Perhaps you're holding on when you should be letting go. Letting go can be one of repparttar 130782

most difficult things we ever have to do. It can also be one of repparttar 130783

most liberating. Opening your hand to let repparttar 130784

butterfly fly away - that jewel-like creature we wish we could hold forever - means its cycle of life can continue, uninterrupted. The reward? Jewels returned to us tenfold year after year as we walk through a garden.

Some of my darkest times involve holding on to things. Past mistakes which I refused to let fade from repparttar 130785 "Open" file in my memory. The job I chose to leave behind in which I could have achieved so much more. The child who stayed in my body for just a few months before dying. People who have hurt me and people I've hurt. So many things. I have discovered, however, that letting go of just one thing at a time can bring peace and healing.

Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as repparttar

author resource box at repparttar 130778

end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 835 Category: Personal Growth, Emotional Healing

ARE YOU CONTROLLING OR LOVING YOURSELF? Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

How often do you hear a parental voice in your head that says things like, "You’ve got to lose weight," or "You should get up earlier every morning and exercise," or "Today I should get caught up on repparttar 130779 bills," or "I’ve got to get rid of this clutter." Let’s explore what happens in response to this voice.

We have a very good reason for judging ourselves: repparttar 130780 judgmental part of us believes that by judging, criticizing, "shoulding" ourselves, we will motivate ourselves to take action and therefore protect against failure or rejection. We may have been judging ourselves to get ourselves to do things "right" since we were kids, hoping to keep ourselves in line. And we keep on doing it because we believe it works.

Let’s take repparttar 130781 example of Karl, who is a high-powered executive in a large accounting firm. Karl has had a heart attack and is supposed to watch his diet. Right after his heart attack, he did well avoiding sugar, fats, and overeating, but after six months or so, he found himself struggling with his food plan. In our counseling session, Karl told me he was upset with himself for having a big desert as well as a big meal repparttar 130782 night before. I asked Karl to put himself back into repparttar 130783 situation and recreate what he had been feeling.

"Well, I was out to dinner with one of our biggest clients. He asked me a question and I didn’t remember repparttar 130784 facts, so I couldn’t answer him. As soon as this happened, that voice came into my head telling me that I’m stupid, that I should have remembered it and ‘What’s repparttar 130785 matter with me anyway?’"

"What did you feel as soon as you judged yourself?" I asked.

"Well, looking back, I think I felt that sad, sort of dark empty hollow feeling I often get inside. And you know what - that’s when I started to eat a lot of bread with tons of butter and ordered repparttar 130786 desert! I didn’t realize it was in response to that empty feeling that I hate!"

"So repparttar 130787 sad empty feeling is what you feel when you judge yourself. Judging yourself is an inner abandonment, so your Inner Child then feels alone, sad and empty. You are telling your Child that he is not good enough. I know that you don’t do this with your actual children, but you do it a lot with yourself, don’t you?"

Cont'd on page 2 ==>