Let The Kissing Begin

Written by David Leonhardt

Let The Kissing Begin By David Leonhardt

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down atrepparttar barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What isrepparttar 118186 greatest sport ever?

Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest ofrepparttar 118187 world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".

I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing isrepparttar 118188 greatest sport ever. Allow me to recount just a few ofrepparttar 118189 reasons.

Kissing is a very versatile sport. There are so many kisses – at least one for each occasion. There isrepparttar 118190 peck onrepparttar 118191 cheek kiss,repparttar 118192 peck on each cheek kiss,repparttar 118193 peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbingrepparttar 118194 other cheek flab with your hand,repparttar 118195 madly passionate kiss,repparttar 118196 kiss onrepparttar 118197 hand,repparttar 118198 kiss of death,repparttar 118199 "Hey you! Kiss this!", and evenrepparttar 118200 town of Kissimmee (founded by early Italian pioneer kissers) in Florida.

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: atrepparttar 118201 gym, inrepparttar 118202 boardroom, inrepparttar 118203 space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires very little equipment, meaning you can do it even when unprepared, and even when you have to travel light. This makes itrepparttar 118204 ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and hang gliders

Kissing always livens things up. Try this:repparttar 118205 next time you are in a booooring meeting that seems to last foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you helprepparttar 118206 environment.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.

Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you avoidrepparttar 118207 mouth area.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhapsrepparttar 118208 best news of all, because now dieters have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Readrepparttar 118209 headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")

Osama and Saddam

Written by Rocky Ramsey

Osama and Saddam

You know that if he could've done it before 911, Osama would've come out of his cave and gone torepparttar top of a mountain where his cell phone reception was better and had a conversation with Saddam that would've probably gone something likerepparttar 118185 following (translated into English for your convenience):

Osama said, "Hello, Saddam?"

"Who's this?" Saddam asked.



"No, Osama. Hold on while I try another spot… Can you hear me now?"

"Osama! What can I do you for?"

"Saddam, my buddy, my friend. You know that we've never quite seen eye-to-eye."

"That's because you're almost eight feet tall, you freak."

"That's what I like about you, Saddam, your sense of humor. And your desire to killrepparttar 118186 infidels."

"What are you trying to butter me up for? I'm really busy. The American dogs are barking on my doorstep. I've got nerve gas, nuclear materials, smallpox and anthrax to pack up before they arrive and get it out ofrepparttar 118187 country so they can't find it. There are banks to loot. I've got sons-in-law to behead. A dictator's work is never done."

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use