“Adopting an attitude of universal responsibility is essentially a personal matter. The real test of compassion is not what we say in abstract discussions but how we conduct ourselves in daily life.” Dalai Lama

I was recently on a glorious vacation in Los Angeles. I took ten days off to play, rejuvenate and get some well-needed sunshine with my family. I was aware during my “time off” that political crisis in Iraq was heating up.

I don’t often feel directly vulnerable to threat of terrorism. I live in a small rural city in New Hampshire; for most part I have luxury (or illusion) of feeling safe in my physical environment.

During days in LA I was inundated and saturated with newspapers and media. After all, there I was in heart of a major possible terrorist target. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of LA Times, I was irresistibly drawn to stories about bombs and chemical warfare and small pox horrors. I looked around at hundreds of people on streets and wondered what would happen if there was an emergency? The thought left me cold.

The day before we were scheduled to fly home security rating went up a notch to high alert. I was starting to truly be concerned about getting on an airplane.

I wanted to quell my anxiety; I certainly didn’t want my daughter to pick up on my fears and be worried about flying home.

Then, it occurred to me. “They” were winning. I was experiencing terrorism. According to Webster’s Dictionary, definition of terrorism is “use of force or threats to demoralize or intimidate.” And it was working.

In that moment I realized it was my choice to stay afraid or not. I became aware of “game” that is being played and how easily I fell into it. Suddenly, I felt a calm and a resolve that I wouldn’t let my life be dictated by fear. I became aware of balance between staying informed and getting sucked in. The tide of fear was turning.

Good question. The fact is, we need both IQ and EQ. You can't have "too much" emotional intelligence, but that doesn't mean at expense of logic.

It's time to use logic, for instance, when figuring out a budget, or making a timeline for a project. Then there's a time to use emotional intelligence - using leadership skills, for instance, to get those people to make that timeline and project happen.

Emotional intelligence means using all your faculties, including logic and reason, to bring about results that are favorable. It means having flexibility and creativity to see alternatives.