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You know, those parties that you would have at a friends house where all guys would gravitate to kitchen, and all girls would gravitate to an up stairs bed room to talk girl talk. We all thought we were so cool. Some guy would always find a way to sneak a six pack of beer into kitchen and another guy would always have a pack of cigarettes.

We would all take a small glass of beer and light up a cigarette and talk about what a buzz we were getting. While we were getting our little beer and cigarette buzz, we would start talking about what girls we thought were hot. Sometimes I wondered why girls came to party at all, they, always seemed to be upstairs.

All that changed after a while, but it was a real evolutionary process. But while we were evolving, sure, all guys knew about all guy talk in kitchen, but no one ever knew anything about what girls were talking about upstairs. Well, that is almost no one knew.

I overheard a very rare earshot of a conversation I wasn't supposed to hear. It was all very innocent of course, but rather interesting. This is how it all happened. I had to use bathroom.

I knocked on door, and one of my friends said, "I'm going to be in here for a while because I feel like I'm going to puke."

I thought okay, "I will use upstairs bathroom."

I got almost to top of stairs and I heard all kinds of laughter coming from girls in bedroom.

I thought, "I wonder what it is thats so funny that they are laughing about?"

Then I heard one of girls say, "yeah that Kevin has tightest ass."

And another girl chimed in, "I couldn't keep my eyes off of his ass for entire football game."

I realised then, "They, were talking about my ass."

I thought, "no one cares about all touch downs I got or all great plays I made. They're just watching my ass."

Then another girl yelled, "yeah, I love that back field in motion."

Another girl chimed in, "yeah, I just love seeing Kevin's ass in those tight football pants."

"I'd love to sueeze those tight bunns," another voice cried out.

And yet another voice said, "I get goose bumbs just thinking what it would be like to wrap my legs around his tight ass."

Well, at first I was devestated.

I thought, "all that pumping iron, all that hair blowing, all that expensive cologne."

And what are all girls looking at? "Its my ass, just my ass."

Then I thought, "well, I better keep this little secret to myself."

I thought, "if I tell anyone I overheard this conversation, they'll never be able to keep it a secret and it will get back to girls."

They kept talking and talking about my ass, but I couldn't listen any longer, I really did have to use bathroom. So I used bathroom and quietly slipped back down stairs again. Now I really needed a beer and a cigarette. So, I gulped down an entire can of beer and had a cigarette. But then I really started to feel weird.

I thought, "woh, no more of that stuff."

But then I started to think, "hmmm, maybe I can capitalize on this ass thing."

I applied for a Summer job, and girl said, "oh, sorry, we have no more openings."

Then she said, "your shoe lace is untied."