Leaving The Child Behind. Recovery From Child Abuse.

Written by Fatimah Musa


I looked at my father forrepparttar last time before he was finally laid to rest. And I said to myself, "I forgive you father".

I have forgiven him but I have not forgottenrepparttar 122675 turmoil, terror and abuse that I went through.

My father was working away most ofrepparttar 122676 time when I was growing up. But when he was home, he was violent.

I remembered crying inrepparttar 122677 middle ofrepparttar 122678 night listening to him beating up my mother. I could hear her sobs. And I wept because I could not do anything about it.

I was terrified of him. We were not supposed to do any thing wrong according to his terms. When I was six years old he pushed my head so hard ontorepparttar 122679 floor. I still haverepparttar 122680 scar on my forehead.

When my mother was diagnosed with depression,repparttar 122681 four of us siblings had to move and we lived with him. He hired someone to take care of us while he was away at work.

There was so much fear in us when he was back. My father was so angry with one of my brother’s one day that he turned him upside down and wanted to throw him off. I watched that episode with horror.

From then on, I tried not to make any mistake. I wept inside because he did not want to hear any whimper. And I continued watching him vent his anger onrepparttar 122682 rest of my siblings.

When my father divorced my mother, I did not know how to feel or react. My mother was back with us but her depression kept relapsing. We were neglected.

I found solace from friends at school. I enjoyed reading stories and literature. I spent my time inrepparttar 122683 school library. There was no home sweet home.

My mother could not take care of me. My father took me away to live with his new family. It did not work out. I was sent to a welfare home.

I did not deserve to be abandoned but I was helpless. I was mad with my father. I was not angry with my mother but I just did not understand why she had to be sick.

Until recently, I did not want to admit that my childhood affected me emotionally and mentally. I have broughtrepparttar 122684 memories of bygone age along into my daily existence.

Hate That Chore? Change Your Mind

Written by Lynn Cutts


March (and April) bring income tax season. For most people,repparttar entire process is a nasty chore, from gatheringrepparttar 122674 information to filling outrepparttar 122675 forms, to payingrepparttar 122676 taxes. And while chocolate helps, it’s not enough. Which brings me torepparttar 122677 topic of this essay: handlingrepparttar 122678 tasks we hate. We all have them, whether it’s taking outrepparttar 122679 trash, payingrepparttar 122680 bills, getting up inrepparttar 122681 morning (for some, that’s a real chore), exercising, or whatever. So how can we make those nasty chores less distasteful?

Our mindset and attitude make a lot of difference in how we perceive life. If we have decided that something is going to be awful, then we subconsciously look for proof that it is. And we usually find it. Conversely, if we are convinced something is going to be fun, we look for that instead. That’s why two people sitting side by side each other atrepparttar 122682 same event can have two totally different experiences.

Let me tell on myself. I hate cooked carrots with a passion, almost as much as I love chocolate. (For me, eating cooked carrots is more than just a chore I hate–it’s cruel and unusual punishment.) This is not something new; my father tells me thatrepparttar 122683 first time he fed me strained carrots I spitrepparttar 122684 orange goop right back out in his face. Anyway, a couple of years ago, I was eating at a restaurant in Vermont, run by students fromrepparttar 122685 Culinary Institute of America. My plate came out with some orange puree on it, and I cautiously tasted it, quite prepared, if necessary, to re-enactrepparttar 122686 scene with my father. It was delicious. It didn’t taste like squash, or rutabaga, or sweet potato, all of which are orange vegetables that I like. I finally asked our server. “Carrots,” he said. Since I didn’t know they were carrots, I hadn’t decided that I didn’t like them. Since I aterepparttar 122687 orange stuff without a preconceived idea, I actually enjoyed them. All it took was changing my mindset.

(Byrepparttar 122688 way, I still don’t like cooked carrots. I don’t know if it’s because I know what they are and have made up my mind already, or ifrepparttar 122689 carrots at that restaurant were just exceptional. I suspect it’s a bit of both.)

So when it comes to taxes, and other chores we hate,repparttar 122690 way we approach them can change our experience of them. Here are a few different things to try.

• Find a way to be grateful forrepparttar 122691 chore. Yes, it sounds Pollyanna-ish, but in some ways, she’s gotten a bum rap. Thank goodness you have a job so you have taxes to pay. Be happy you have a refrigerator to store your food in, even though you have to clean it out once in a while. Heating bills? Hey, you were warm last month whenrepparttar 122692 thermometer took that plunge.

• Focus onrepparttar 122693 outcome of what you are doing. Think how good it will feel to have those taxes done and off your mind. Think about that sparkly clean fridge–and not being afraid to open up an unmarked container. You might even arrange for someone (a spouse, friend, kid, family member) to cheer and applaud your accomplishment when you are finished. Or plan a reward for yourself.

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