Learn to Say NoWritten by David Wood
How many times have you agreed to do something that you actually didn’t want to do? For someone at work? Your friends? Even your spouse? All you had to do was say no, but word didn’t come out. So you end up doing it…and later resent it. A coaching client said to me she was agreeing to things she didn’t want to do, but for some reason, she felt obliged to do them. Instead of taking enjoyment in task, she would later feel angry with herself and resentful towards person she had said ‘yes’ to. So then she went on to list further reasons why she wanted to say no. I stopped her by saying, “You are even justifying yourself to me!” We feel we have to justify ourselves and give extremely good reasons for saying no. Even when reason is simply: “I don’t want to.” Check-in With Yourself I asked my client what was one thing she could do to work on this. She suggested she start checking in with herself before saying yes or no. You can ask yourself, “Is this right for me?” Support yourself in doing what feels right and well with you. And if it’s not something for you, try expressing that no. Have Fun With It! Saying no doesn’t have to be serious or angry. My client also wanted to lighten up, so I recommended she try stirring it up a little, to have fun with it. You can try out different responses like, “Nope, never as long as I live” or “Baby sit your kids - are you crazy?” What are some other great responses you can try to make 'saying no' more fun?
| | Train Your ManWritten by David Wood
For ladies I work on premise that your man is willing to give you everything you want; that he wants to make you happy, if only he is shown how. If this is a stretch for you, I suggest your belief is main thing standing between you and a wonderful relationship. When a man does not meet your expectation, you may tend to contract or withdraw. Resentment can creep in and your man pays in end - either subtly or directly. A cycle can form where you may "cut him down" more often than you "build him up". My coaching and articles will centre around helping you to: 1) See you actually can have everything you want from your relationship 2) Get clear on exactly what you want 3) Show your man how to give you what you want, in such a way that you both win! These steps often require a shift in thinking, and giving up some behavioural habits. You will need to take responsibility for your relationship - often an uncomfortable place to stand. The result is a positive cycle where he enjoys giving you what you want - wins from it - rather than acting out of obligation or fear. This leaves you radiantly happy, which in turn makes an ENORMOUS difference to his life. Ask yourself – if life was a fairytale, and I really could have a perfect relationship, what would that look like? What THREE things could I have more of in this relationship that make me incredibly happy?
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