Le Poem De La SweatWritten by Ed Williams
I made a bad mistake a couple of weeks ago and got into a discussion about poetry with my good friend, Henry County Herald columnist Amy Eason. Amy likes poems, and was telling me all kinds of stuff about them in an effort to convince me that I should like them as well. She was fighting an uphill battle because I typically don’t like poetry at all, in fact, only thing I can imagine that’s worse than poems would be having Perry Como sing a few of them to me. Nonetheless, she made me promise that I would try to write one, and, that if I did, I’d come to understand just how rewarding composing them can be. Based on her powers of persuasion, and added incentive of a twenty dollar side bet, I’m going to unveil my first, and I guarantee you, my absolutely last poetic offering. This tender epistle goes as follows: Le Poem De La Sweat I sit here at my keyboard fair, Sweat beads streaking through my hair, I just got home from working out at gym, In a very vain effort to get fit and trim. I wonder why it has to be this way, Joints a-hurtin’ and old legs that sway, I’m breathing so hard, it’s like a monsoon, I’m sure I could inflate a hot air balloon. As I worked out, I looked all around, Amazed at different type people I found, I cussed skinny people who don’t break a sweat, The more they eat, thinner they get. It doesn’t seem right, yet what can I do, They’re still real skinny, but my stomach’s all goo. And there’s a big guy, who’s puffing like me, His sweatpants are too small, his gut I can see, When he bends over to pick up some weights, I think of full moons, association I hate. To my right is a lady, she works hard and tries, No weight in her chest, but lots in her thighs, She’s standing there eyeing sit-up bench, If she lays down on it, we may need a wench.
| | Elliptical Trainer BenefitsWritten by Kathryn O'Neill
Considering an elliptical trainer? Wondering how an elliptical trainer can benefit you?This article lists several unique benefits of working out with an elliptical trainer. If you're trying to decide between an eliptical trainer and another piece of exercise equipment, here are some unique elliptical trainer benefits: · No Impact: Recently my 60-year-old mother tried my elliptical trainer and she was shocked at how easy it felt on her joints (she's a regular treadmill user). Elliptical trainer workouts are safe on joints and provide a no impact workout (as opposed to a treadmill where you feet hit deck with every step). This is ideal for people with back, knee, hips and joint problems as well as older people looking for a no-impact workout. · Weight Bearing Exercise: While using an elliptical machine gives you a no-impact workout, resistance exercise still helps to build bone density and fight off osteoporosis. As well, weight-bearing exercise helps you burn calories much more efficiently (and keeps your calorie burn high for several hours after a workout) · Saves Time Because most elliptical trainers incorporate upper body arms, elliptical workouts tend to involve whole body and give you an overall better workout - meaning you burn more calories in less time. That's always a benefit. Elliptical trainers have also been proven to offer a lower 'Perceived Rate of Exertion' when working out. This means that you're doing more work and burning more calories while feeling like you put out less effort.
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