By Stephen Bucaro

First of all, don't feel alone. The U.S. has lost 2.5 million net jobs since March 2001. The average jobless stint is now five months, and many people are leaving unemployment statistic not because they found a job, but because they feel situation is hopeless and have dropped out of work force.

Where did jobs go? Did they go to Mexico where average hourly rate is $2.17, compared to $15.45 in U.S.? Mexico is losing jobs to countries like Vietnam where average hourly rate is 37 cents per hour, or Pakistan 34 cents, or China 24 cents. While U.S. economy has been stagnant for past three years, China's economy has experienced a 9% annual growth rate. The U.S. now has a $20 billion trade deficit with China.

China alone, with a population of 1.3 billion, compared to 250 million for U.S., can provide more low cost labor than this planet can ever absorb. At same time, as some jobs are being exported other jobs are being automated out of existence. Remember when an attendant was required to pump gas into your car? Remember when a human teller was required to make a bank deposit? Those attendant and teller jobs have been long gone.

Now we're seeing self-checkout machines at discount stores, grocery stores, and even at library. Say goodbye to millions of checkout clerk jobs. The buzz word for American business today is "productivity" - to produce same amount or more with fewer workers. Many businesses have increased productivity by more than a third in last four years. This is only first wave of productivity increase. Millions more jobs will be lost as computers and automation are put to task of eliminating jobs. It's American way.

As an individual who has been laid off, what should you do? As stated previously, average time required to find a new job is now five months. If you are a worker from an industry whose jobs are being exported or automated out of existence, your reentry into work force could take much longer. You need to develop a plan for your financial survival for an extended period of time.

The article below contains a few sweeping generalisations within it that hold true in most cases. I wouldn’t for a moment claim that all men or women act out a particular gender role, I would however say that some assumptions can be very useful. This article has already changed lives, my editors understanding of men improved and she quickly eliminated one of biggest mistakes she was making around men in her life. I hope you enjoy it, let me know. For those of you that wonder, we will be getting to mistakes that men make around women in near future.

Men for Beginners

One of roles I seem to find myself in is translator. I often end up in conversations with my female coaching clients about what does it mean when my partner….disappears into garage for evening?….watches three movies back to back?….drinks all night with his friends?

It means he’s unhappy.

Men are different from women; I’ve resisted this truth for so many years I can’t tell you. We do things differently, particularly around area of feelings. Men are trained to be ashamed of their feelings from a very early age. We learn quickly that tears are not something we shed if we have any other option. We know that big boys don’t cry, and that message started very early for us. We are often shamed publicly for crying and shame is something we resist feeling at any cost.

Have you ever noticed that there isn’t a clearly defined male character in society? In some way, we invest most of our energy in NOT acting like a woman. Men have no idea how to get along with each other and our male intimacy often comes about by punching each other in arm and other types of play fighting.

Take example of holding hands. We don’t stop holding hands because we don’t like our friends. We stop holding hands because someone made it unsafe to do so. Just like tears in public, male friends holding hands is subject to ridicule, harassment, and more of dreaded public shaming.