LESSON FROM HUNDRED ACRE WOOD

Written by Theolonius McTavish


Copyright 2004 by Theolonius McTavish. All rights reserved.

LESSON FROM HUNDRED ACRE WOOD -- Or, wabbit hunting is for wimps --

Some say thatrepparttar world is being overrun by far too many rabbits -- Oswaldrepparttar 118146 Rabbit, Rogerrepparttar 118147 Rabbit, Bugs Bunny not to mention all manner of wretched little Easter Bunnies. If that’s so, then “wabbit hunting” is sure to become a growth opportunity for outfitters, guides, and taxidermists or for those catering torepparttar 118148 Saturday morning cartoon-rerun crowd.

Onrepparttar 118149 other hand, some suggest that it requires neither courage nor skill to outwit a bouncy, four-legged, floppy-eared thing with a twitchy pink nose. They holdrepparttar 118150 popular view thatrepparttar 118151 only reason these critters exist is to keep wimpy warriors safe if not sound and giverepparttar 118152 wicked wenches something to cook besides tasteless toads.

Those withrepparttar 118153 “right stuff” know thatrepparttar 118154 "real action" in life comes from slaying dragons, mashing monsters or trouncing trolls. For a change of pace, there’s alwaysrepparttar 118155 chance of savingrepparttar 118156 odd damsel-in-distress or two, just to keep a fellow feeling needed on his day off.

As fate would have it however, "real men" have done such a bang up job of eradicatingrepparttar 118157 big brutes overrepparttar 118158 past few centuries, there's precious little to tick off on their “to do” lists. No more tales to impress long-lost lovers. No more battering rams to strike fear intorepparttar 118159 hearts of those wanting to grab a guy's favorite parking spot.

Diversions such as a daring game of snakes and ladders, extreme-tiddlywinks and no-holds-barred croquet simply won't cut it any longer. And, with no dragons, monsters or trolls around to hunt, clearly something had to be done beforerepparttar 118160 fickle finger of fate intervened.

The possibility thatrepparttar 118161 woosies, or heaven forbidrepparttar 118162 thought thatrepparttar 118163 wenches might take over and -- put an end to hunting, closerepparttar 118164 pleasure palaces, not to mention declare peace inrepparttar 118165 Garden of Eden -- obviously did not sit too well withrepparttar 118166 macho-merengue types. This scenario was not an option! So, there wasn't a moment to lose if a hunky dory outcome was to be engineered!

That’s why “The Academy of Arcane Stuff & Tricky Things” stepped in to offer a silver-tongued solution to this perplexing problem. Needless to say, after much consolation, consultation, and a few stiff drinks...the ivory-tower icons got together with several baron-of-beef business buddies and a couple of pleased-as-punch politicians who all agreed on one thing --repparttar 118167 need for a plan.

This was a tall order however sincerepparttar 118168 gurus had only ever prepared "pomp and circumstance" pieces of piffle. Would they be able to produce anything butrepparttar 118169 usual five-inch-thick, two-volume, color-coordinated, bound-set of embossed tomes typically found languishing on bookshelves propping uprepparttar 118170 dust bunnies? This time, a miracle was in order. Nothing less than a "Master-Plan" with a "pithy purpose, pliable priorities, and oodles of prizes" would do thank you.

WELCOME TO WITCHVILLE

Written by Victoria Elizabeth


Copyright by Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.

WELCOME TO WITCHVILLE (Home of Scream Cuisine & Other Stuff)

Living in Victoria, BC (Canada) has a few perks.

Second to Salem, Massachusetts (the world capital of witchcraft), Victoria, BC is Canada's "most haunted house city".

This "California-North", left-coast, cosy community withrepparttar unique distinction of being dubbed Canada's "garden city", it also has something else strange going for it.

According torepparttar 118145 most recent Canadian census,it seems that Victoria hasrepparttar 118146 largest per-capita witch population inrepparttar 118147 country. In fact, more than 1,000 folks filled out a form declaring themselves truly "out-of-broomstick the-closet"! However, more optimistic estimates, byrepparttar 118148 local pagan and witch community, put this figure closer to 5,000!

Even though Statistics Canada has stated that paganism isrepparttar 118149 fastest- growing religion inrepparttar 118150 country, Victoria has earnedrepparttar 118151 novel title of being one ofrepparttar 118152 few places inrepparttar 118153 country where witches can legally marry, wear witch attire in public, (and die) in grace.

So what makes Victoria such a "happening Halloween place" all-year round?

Some have said, it is Victoria's strategic location onrepparttar 118154 San Andreas fault line. (The "energy ofrepparttar 118155 place" makes it a great spot for those who like to feelrepparttar 118156 earth tremble beneath their web-feet -- it also rains here).

Other's say it has to do withrepparttar 118157 ocean (and perhaps far too many seagulls leaving their telltale signs behind to guiderepparttar 118158 ghosts around at all hours of day and night).

But most scientists agree, it probably has something to do withrepparttar 118159 very strange sort of people who live here (namely a high proportion of hot-air politicians, and alternative lifestylers who enjoy wearing point-black hats, hob-nailed hiking boots, and riding recycled broomsticks to work in Beacon Hill Park (a place where pentagrams can be worn openly without anyone batting an eye).

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