Written by Robert Elias Najemy


Our doubt concerning our self-worth isrepparttar main obstacle to our emotional and inter-relational harmony. This doubt isrepparttar 131364 cause of our greatest fears such as being rejected, laughed at, ignored, unloved, and most of all, of being alone.

Loneliness and Doubt

Loneliness isrepparttar 131365 disease of our age, and its cause is self-doubt. Fear of being alone is perhaps our most ancient one. It comes fromrepparttar 131366 fact that inrepparttar 131367 past, he who was not accepted was ostracized fromrepparttar 131368 group. In those days, that did not mean simply feeling lonely, but also being unable to survive.

Another factor that makes us fear rejection or not being accepted by others isrepparttar 131369 fear of being punished by them or by God. We have been brought up to believe in a God, whose love is conditional, depending upon whether we are perfect in His/Her/Its eyes or not.

Childhood Programming

We receive messages from our parents and other important persons throughout our childhood years concerning whether and under what conditions we are good or worthy.

As children, we learn from adults that we must measure our self-worth by: 1. What others think of us. 2. The results of our efforts in school, our profession and life. 3. Our appearance 4. How we compare to others. 5. How much we know. 6. How much money we have. 7. And various other conditions

Our doubt of our self-worth then becomes our greatest obstacle to inner peace, harmonious communication and loving relationships. These doubts arerepparttar 131370 foundation of most of our negative emotions and relationship conflicts.

*** If we had more self-acceptance, we would have less need to prove ourselves to others. ***

Then we would not feel offended so frequently and we could overlook others? negativity and be at peace with them regardless of their behavior.

Let us now look at how we can increase and stabilize our self-acceptance.

The first step is to discoverrepparttar 131371 situations in which we lose our sense of self-worth or self-acceptance.

The reasons we most often loose our feelings of self-worth are examined inrepparttar 131372 following questionnaire. ________________________________________


In which situations do you lose your sense of self-love, self-worth, self- esteem or self-acceptance?

1. When others ask for your help and you * do not say "yes" *, or do not respond.

2. When you have * made a mistake * or have * failed * at some effort.

3. When * others are more capable * than you are at certain tasks or concerning certain qualities (i.e. intelligence, artistic ability, speech, sports, cooking, professional success, their children?s success, economically, making friends, employing disciplines).

4. When * others attract more attention, * esteem and respect in a group situation.

5. When others * have offered more to you * than you have offered them.

6. When you are * not perfect *.

7. When * others criticize, are angry at or reject you *.

8. When * others do not agree with you or believe that you are wrong *.

9. When others * are able to manipulate you *. ------- 10. When * you have "created" pain * for others.

11. When you are * not in harmony with your conscience *. ________________________________________

The accompanying more detailed questionnaire will help us determine more clearly when we lose our feelings of self-worth. We suggest that as you read through it, you mark those items that might relate to you.

I Tend to Lose My Feelings of Self-Worth: (Worth what; love, happiness, health, success, satisfaction?)

1. When others criticize me, blame me, or do not approve of me. 2. When others are angry with me. 3. When my children, spouse or parents are not happy, healthy, successful, or satisfied. 4. When I do not know as much as others around me. 5. When I do not have an intimate relationship partner. 6. When my house is not clean and in order. 7. When my partner shows interest in others. 8. If I am not successful professionally. 9. If I do not have enough money. 10. If I am not attractive torepparttar 131373 opposite sex. 11. If I do not make an impression on others. 12. If I do not have many sexual successes. 13. If others do not respect me. 14. If my child is ill. 15. If I do not have what others have. 16. If I am not perfect. 17. If I do not achieve many things. 18. If others are able to cheat or mislead me. 19. If I do not have ___________________________ 20. If I do not do______________________________ 21. Other reasons ___________________________ _____________________________________________

Steps to Forgiveness

Written by Francoise Rapp

Have you ever been hurt by someone, yet found yourself unable to forgive that person for causing you pain? Whenrepparttar person who doesrepparttar 131362 hurting is a close friend or loved one, you may feel especially betrayed. But in order to live a life filled with promise, success and joy, forgiveness is not only important, but it is also a necessity.

Forgiveness opens our consciousness torepparttar 131363 inherent yet constant flow of universal love. By forgiving others, we experience compassion, we become non-judgmental, and we create unity by accepting others as they are.

In terms of karma, those who live according to an "eye-for-an-eye" philosophy create unhealthy patterns. For instance, let's say you have chosen to refrain from giving to others because you feel you are equally or more deserving. You are creating a self-fulfilling, cyclic pattern where you are not giving and you are not receiving. But onrepparttar 131364 other hand, when you forgive others who have not given to you, and becomerepparttar 131365 true giving and loving person you are, you then heal this negative pattern.

Forgive others for what they have or have not done, for what they say or do not say, and realize we are all beings of love. But before you can forgive others, it is important to first forgive yourself for your own mistakes and accept yourself for who you are.

To help you in this quest for forgiveness, completerepparttar 131366 following ritual daily:

- Sit in a quiet place and take few deep breaths - Anoint yourself as mentioned below with your selected aromatherapy blend - Take a few deep breaths again - Sayrepparttar 131367 appropriate affirmation below out loud three times - Sit quiet for at least 10 minutes

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