“If you marry, you will regret it; if you do not marry, you will also regret it; if you marry or do not marry, you will regret both; whether you marry or do not marry, you will regret both.” -- Soren Kierkegaard.

Soren Kierkegaard was a tremendous fan of Don Giovanni (aka Don Juan). Kierkegaard pined in regret over his broken engagement with Regine Olsen. He feared that once she saw rottenness and evil within him, that she would no longer be able to love him. Many of his earlier works were works dealing with faith and coming to grips with his decision not to marry her. Such a person would be interested in character of Don Giovanni who slept with thousands of women in fear that no one woman would ever love him. Both Kierkegaard and Don Giovanni had a fundamental lack of faith: Not a lack of faith in God, but a lack of faith in humanity. We’ll soon see that two are related however.

What is fundamental value of faith to begin with? Faith allows human mind to make decisions in absence of perfect information and absolute certainty. Faith in its purest form is essential to daily living. How could we board a plane, drive to work or go about our daily business without a certain faith that odds are in our favour that everything is going to be alright? I’m certain that were Don Giovanni alive today, he’d happily board a plane to fly to his love of week. He would have faith in plane ride, which could theoretically cost him his life, but he wouldn’t have faith in woman to truly love her, even when there is no mortal danger. This irony speaks wondrously of innate human ability to recognize that soul is most precious thing of all. Don Giovanni was a duelist who commonly took risks with his life but never risked to expose his soul.

What then is so pernicious about opening yourself romantically to another human being? Why can’t we just open ourselves romantically to one eligible person after other until something works? While it sounds easy on paper, to be loved by someone is a validation of character. While it’s not only validation of character, it’s certainly a potent one. Thus to be unrequited in love is looked upon as an invalidation of character to those unsure of their worth, and for those sure of their worth, it’s a reminder that they are alone in recognizing their value. This is a very painful proposition and it is no wonder that, like a baby crying upon birth, so very many of us wish to return to womb.

The womb is solitary human mind. Things make sense in there and even when things are a mess, it’s out own mess. Everything is nicely encapsulated there, and it is comfortable, warm and friendly inside. The lengths human beings will go to in order to return and stay in worm are enormous. Fancy cars and fancy clothes are a way to wrap and obscure soul. Snobbery and ego are tools so many use to fend off any foreign invaders. Religious zealotry, self-absorption, and seeking status quo are all opiates against any of out outside world that manages to slip in. The womb however is not where we were meant to be. It quickly leads to a planet of walking encapsulated beings that are so distant, one can easily feel lonely in a crowded room. It leads to a situation of starving amidst a sea of plenty.

However, that doesn’t mean you’re exactly thrilled when it comes to ordering wine in a shi-shi restaurant. With just a little “how to” knowledge, you can start ordering wine with your head held high. It’s a good idea to keep reading because you might humiliate someone if you dare ask for a bottle of “2-Buck Chuck” on your next outing.

Choosing a Wine

By Glass or Bottle?

• It’s less expensive to get a bottle if two or more guests are having a couple glasses of wine.

• You’ll be much more limited in your selection when ordering by glass.

What Kind of Wine Do You Want?

• Decide on red versus white. That eliminates half list right away. • If ordering for a group of people, you might order a red AND a white bottle to satisfy a broader range of preferences.

What Are You Eating?

• Choose a wine that compliments your meal whether you’re having a steak or Caesar salad.

o Whites with lighter foods like grilled chicken or salads.

o Big reds with steaks or heavy red sauces.

o Lighter, fruitier reds with anything else.

• Connect your menu choice with a wine from same region, i.e., Rioja with tapas, Chianti with red-sauced Italian dishes, and so on.

How Much Do You Want to Spend?

• Know your approximate budget before you peruse wine list.

• Beware that house wines frequently have a high mark up for restaurant and usually not best values.

• If asking server for suggestions, try asking about a particular wine in price range you are considering. They will usually pick up on this clue and not suggest wines out of your budget.

Ask Your Server

• Don’t be afraid to ask for wine recommendations from your server.

• Some fine restaurants have a dedicated sommelier, (pronounced som-mel-yay), which is basically an on staff wine expert. Ask if you are unsure.

• Listen to their suggestions, but don’t be bullied into any decisions, especially if you feel they are simply pushing a high mark up wine or one too expensive for your budget.

• Inform server type of wine you are looking for, such as a heavy or fruity red, or an oaky or dry white.