There’s a pattern in American households that’s been emerging and it’s harmful for kids. Kids have essentially gone from being contributors to
household, to being waited on hand and foot. Too many moms see household duties as being outside
realm of their child’s responsibilities – and their ability. It’s not only sad, it’s also untrue. In fact, if kids are fully capable of contributing to
mess of a house, why can’t they be expected to contribute to its cleaning? The problem rests with moms. As mothers we often look at housework as
old saw “if you want it done right, you’ll have to do it yourself.” But, that’s defeating for everybody.
Kids quickly learn that
“auto-mom” will handle all
messes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and other household jobs if they can prove their incompetence. And Moms get something out of “being
only one” who cleans
toilet right, or folds
towels like they do in department stores. But this has to stop. Otherwise, trying to keep home and hearth together will be a 24-hour-a-day job and we’ll end up with children who’ll leave
home one day and not have
vaguest clue about how to handle household duties.
Have
expectation that kids will do
jobs you’ve assigned them One of
things that can undermine
process of kids helping out around
house is a parent’s expectation that they won’t do it. Expect that they will do
jobs, check on their progress, and assign appropriate rewards and consequences to
job, and it’s amazing how well kids will perform.
Parents have to realign their minds that kids are fully capable -- and often willing -- to participate in
running of
household and
housekeeping that goes with it. As an example, if you asked your son to take out
trash before dinner, remove
videogame privilege until it’s done. Yes, it is easier to just do it ourselves, but that’s not practical and it sets a bad example, showing kids that in
real world, there’s someone there to clean up after you. As anyone will tell you,
real world demands that you pick up after yourself. However, not all kids are ready for every household task.