Keeping Love Alive

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


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Title: Keeping Love Alive Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 713 Category: Relationships

Keeping Love Alive By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When I was 24 years old I fell madly in love. I was madly in love for three weeks, and then spentrepparttar 110963 next 30 years struggling to regain and maintain that wonderful feeling. Inrepparttar 110964 course of my long marriage and inrepparttar 110965 35 years I’ve been counseling individuals and couples, I’ve learned what it takes to keep love alive and what diminishesrepparttar 110966 feelings and experience of love.

The concept of what it takes to keep love alive is really quite simple, but not so easy to do. The simple answer is this: love flows between two people whose hearts are open to learning and to sharing love. The hard part is keepingrepparttar 110967 heart open.

Before I go more deeply into what does keep love alive, I want to focus on what doesn’t work to keep love alive. The bottom line of what diminishes or even eventually kills loving feelings is controlling behavior.

There are two major forms of controlling behavior that always result in dampening loving feelings:

• Overt control such as anger, blame, criticism and judgment, defensiveness, lecturing, teaching, righteousness, physical violence, and so on.

• Covert control such as withdrawal, withholding truth, compliance, giving oneself up, resistance, denial, and so on.

None of us like to be controlled. Most people, inrepparttar 110968 face of controlling behavior, react with their own controlling behavior. Controlling behavior diminishes love becauserepparttar 110969 focus is on changingrepparttar 110970 other person rather than on changing yourself. Whenrepparttar 110971 intention of your behavior is to change your partner’s feelings or behavior, your behavior will often be experienced by your partner as manipulative and/or rejecting. Trying to change how someone feels about you or treats you with overt forms of control feels manipulative and rejecting to your partner, while covert forms of control such a compliance or “niceness,” feels manipulative and inauthentic torepparttar 110972 other person.

Could My Child Have a Learning Disability?

Written by Sandy Gauvin


Before my daughter, Michele, began attending school, a lady that was babysitting her noticed things she did (or didn’t do) that weren’t developmentally quite right.

We were fortunate in thatrepparttar babysitter had had training in early childhood education, and she would work with Michele and her son to help them develop appropriate pre-school skills. She became concerned that Michele struggled with learning her alphabet and her numbers. Her small motor skills - things like using scissors and coloring - weren’t up to par. She would overreact to many situations, and she didn’t understand jokes because she didn’t understand words with different meanings.

We weren’t surprised when she was recommended in first grade to be evaluated for a learning disability.

I have taught hundreds of children with learning disabilities, and all of them had different combinations of signs. Some ofrepparttar 110961 younger children just couldn’t remember what sound(s) each letter or combination of letters made. Some couldn’t figure out what certain numbers added up to, or they couldn’t remember their subtraction, multiplication, or division facts, even though they tried and tried to memorize them.

Many ofrepparttar 110962 kids, both younger and older, like Michele, could read words on a page very well, but they had difficulty understanding what they read. Then there were others who had to have help readingrepparttar 110963 words, but once they read them, they had no trouble understanding. There were some who were great readers and writers, but they had an awful time with math. And there were some who could do math better than I could, but they had a terrible time with reading.

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