Three weeks out of work and you are still relaxed. There is a new and better position waiting out there and you just need to get around to finding it.

Six weeks out of work and you are getting anxious. Fifty resumes have vanished into a black hole and telephone refuses to ring.

Twelve weeks out of work and panic starts to set in. You review your recent efforts to find work and seem to be doing all right things. You start to doubt yourself: Am I too old? Are my skills outdated? Are industries I know all dying? Are there any decent jobs out there? Is there something wrong with me? Does nobody need me?

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that no matter what optimistic spin government trumpets, it is tough to find a good job when new job seekers exceed number of jobs created. A 5 to 6 percent unemployment rate means that every job which arises has potentially eight million applicants! Then sit down and look at yourself from a new perspective.

Okay, although logic never convinces anyone of anything, let’s counter some of these silly ideas.

Yes, many good ones are married, but half of them will be divorced sooner or later.

Some men are interested in women 20 years younger. It rarely works out and some men have to learn this hard way. You can catch one when he’s finally gotten a clue, if you’re patient. My friend Sheila did.

Is it impossible to meet men? Only if you’re determined it is.

He’s looking for you just as hard as you’re looking for him, but he’s not going to come knock at your door? I know men who’ve called long-lost loves, sometimes after 40 years. A telephone or email works fine and it can happen. If you heard stories I hear as a coach, you’d know that anything’s possible.

I was in marketing for many years, and it occurred to me that what you need is a marketing plan. If I were marketing an apartment complex, here’s what I’d do: Interview owner to find out what her goals were. Check out curb appeal. Find out what amenities were. Do a quick study of competition. Write up a marketing plan, applying fundamentals.

Now for fun part – let’s apply this to you and your search for Mr. Right.

WHAT YOU WANT?

What are you looking for in a man? Be specific. Make a list. Actually write it down. When you know what you want, you attract it. Write down traits, qualities, values, appearance and so forth.

CURB APPEAL

In apartment industry, “curb appeal” means what place looks like when you first drive up. So do an honest assessment of your curb appeal – what do they see when they look at you? Sometimes all you get is a first impression.

Do a makeover. If you need to, get a new hairstyle, get in top shape, get your nails done, and take a look at your wardrobe. Men fall in love with their eyes.

Work on your smile and your eye contact. A coach can give you tips on this. You want your inner light to shine. This means you must work on your attitude. Learn some optimism. It can be learned and you don’t need a reason. Not only will you feel better, but you’ll be more attractive to other people.

THE AMENITIES

At an apartment complex, that’s ceiling fans and hot tubs. For you, take a look at what you bring to a relationship. I’m not talking about material things, I’m talking about things that really matter. Make a list of all your good qualities. Zero in on two things that are unique to you and exceptional about you. Keep these in mind and project them.

THERE IS NO COMPETITION