Y’all ever wonder why some people seem to have such a hard time finding gainful employment? Well, after reading this column you may better understand some of
reasons why. This week I’m going to share some actual comments from selected employment applications that have been submitted to some of companies that I‘ve worked for in past. Y’all might think that I’m kidding or exaggerating, but I swear on a stack of Elvis CDs that following comments are as true as they can be.... On criminal history section -
“I have only done a few light crimes that I have been arrested for, nothing that has gotten me in paper or anything.”
“I hit a police officer, but it will be proven out to be a big mistake.”
“I stole money from job, got busted, and did some time. You have to like that I’m honest about it.”
On why they left their last job -
“They picked on me just because I had missed work six or seven times in last month due to family reasons. A man doesn’t become a father every day, and I wanted to watch my woman’s stomach grow, so I did.”
“I whistled at a woman during my probationary period who turned out to be my bosses’ wife.”
“I didn’t like pay, I didn’t like benefits, I didn’t like my boss, so I told him.”
“It takes too much time to look for a new job while you have an old job, and since my old job stinks, I am going to use my daylight time to look for another.”
On what hours they’re available to work -
“I’m a young man, and you don’t want to mess up my social life by making me work at night. My women won’t like that one bit.”
“My fiance expects me home each day at five pm sharp to make him dinner, so we will need to work around that.”
“Can I just give you a slip of paper each week that tells you what hours I can work?”
