Whining. It’s such a waste of time. It’s also one of those things that feels good while you’re doing it, but not afterwards. So is commiserating. If you’re involved in this futile loop, it’s time to get out.What do I mean?
Well, let’s say there’s something you must do you don’t want to. This could be so many things – de-cluttering
garage, writing a thank you note, going to DVM to get your license renewed, taking that pile of clothes over to Goodwill, turning in your expense account report, or writing a performance review for an employee.
Each of these tasks I’ve mentioned could take you an hour or two. If you talk about it, however, it could extend into infinity. If you’re whining type, you could call everyone you know and fuss about what you aren’t doing, and each phone call could easily take an hour.
If you’re commiserating type whiner knows they can go to, you could easily devote an hour to their whining, which would allow you not to do what you should be doing, and then go whine to someone else.
The payoff is connection with people, and not having to do nasty chore. We all like sympathy, emotional connection, empathy and “understanding.” After all, no one’s going to argue with you that going to DVM ranks right up there with a root canal.
There are procrastinators and then there are blackhole procrastinators. I have one friend who procrastinates on tasks he doesn’t want to do, but he’s generally happy about it all, and he doesn’t call other people and complain. He also occupies himself keeping busy with things he likes to do, and there are many. He limits his ability to succeed by this habit, but it’s somewhat contained and he doesn’t bother other people with it too much.
Then there’s Erin, who’s a blackhole procrastinator. She sucks things into her negative energy. Get around it and you could disappear and come out in an alternate universe. In fact it IS an alternate universe. While she is putting off what she should be doing, she is gobbling up other people’s time, and sucking away their positive emotions with her complaining.
Because this is a habit to her, her list of things that are “too hard,” “awful,” and “unfair” goes on forever. It’s so long I know she’s CAPABLE of being organized and efficient, because I would have to have a written list of all things to complain about.
Yes, I limit time I’m willing to listen to her complain. But as I prematurely terminate phone call when I hear laundry list of whines about to happen, I know she’s got her hand on dial ready to call next person who will listen to her.
The thing is that complaining doesn’t make a difference. Now, if you had a parent where complaining worked and got you out of doing things, smart child that you are, you developed habit. It worked. You’d have been dumb NOT to use it.
