Can you think of a word or phrase that irritates you? Possibly when your teenager rolls his or her eyes and says, “Whateevverr.” For me it is this phrase. “IT’S NOT THAT BAD YET.” Have you ever thought like this or do you know anyone who does?

I will give you an example. A person might say, “I am really worried about my 14 year old. He comes home intoxicated two or three times a week and I am sure he smokes pot.” I ask if they have him in counseling. They say, “Oh no, it’s not that bad YET.” Or someone says, “My marriage is going to pot. We fight all time and I don’t know what to do.” I ask, “Have you thought of marriage counseling?” “Oh no, it’s not THAT bad yet.”

This phrase keeps people stuck in miserable jobs, unfulfilling lives and eroding relationships. It is reason people become more stressed, more depressed, more sick. It is reason we have a 50 percent divorce rate. It tricks us into thinking we do not have to DO anything YET. We continue to tolerate intolerable, and to wait for a miracle. What exactly do we mean when we say this?

IT’S not that bad yet.

What exactly is not that bad? Your life? Your life isn’t that bad yet? That sure sounds like a life to jump out of bed full of energy for every day. Your marriage isn’t that bad yet? Is that kind of marriage you went looking for? Is that kind you want to keep? Or is it fighting, drinking or stress on job not that bad yet?

It’s not THAT BAD yet.

How bad is THAT BAD? How will you know when it is THAT BAD? If you wait, will it be too late to do anything about it? Imagine how you would feel if you went to doctor with migraine headaches. He calls you back in a couple days and tells you they found something on x-rays. They don’t know what it is, but don’t worry, it’s not THAT BAD yet.

Or consider this. You see a few bugs around house. You call in Orkin man. He looks around and then tells you that he found evidence of termites. They have quite an appetite, those little critters. Munch, munch, munch. Call him next year. It’s not THAT BAD yet.

It’s not that bad YET.

You can manage your stress many ways. Stress management strategies include deep breathing, relaxation exercises, physical exercise, meditation, and yoga.

But did you know that if you reduce your interpersonal stress you can improve health? Most of my clients who suffer from depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses complain about one thing – relationship problems at work or at home.

Like most people, I am sure you have heard a million times that you must quit smoking to reduce risks of cancer and enhance health. Have you heard results of divorce studies about men and divorce? These indicate that men going through divorce experience stress related damage equal to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

Is opposite true? If you reduce conflict in your relationships and avoid divorce, do you create a health remedy?