"It's not okay to get what I want."

Not only do I see it in others, but it's also one of my own personal favorites. How about you? Does any of this ring true for you?

"What I want" can be anything from last piece of pizza to a certain amount of time to yourself to a happy marriage to a career or business you really want.

Whatever object of desire, there's an underlying belief or feeling that says it's not okay to have it.

Several months ago, during a session with my own coach, I came face to face with this very issue. I'd been working more than usual, and my coach was really challenging me to tell my employer I needed following day off.

That was a tough challenge to consider. Although I probably deserved a day off as much as anyone else, there was something in me that fought idea.

I thought how nice it would be to not have any agenda for whole day, and I wanted to take that day off. But still, I could feel tension arise within me as she challenged me further.

The end result was I did take day off - just not that particular day. We compromised. Actually, I compromised. Right? Wrong? Who knows. Who cares? The world is still running fine, and I haven't lost any sleep over my decision.

The first of 28 Attraction Principles in Thomas Leonard's "The Portable Coach" is "Become Incredibly Selfish." Hmm. I wonder if Thomas saw this as a common issue with his clients, friends and colleagues? If you haven't read book yet, I'd suggest you pick up a copy. He gives a whole new definition for word selfish.

Along with that, here are a few tips I'll offer as well.

1. Learn to recognize this belief working in your life. Do you rarely make time for yourself? Do you find yourself involved in all sorts of projects that you really don't enjoy? Are you doing and having everything except that which you really want? Those are a few ways this belief may show up in your life.

An entire industry has been born out of need to better manage our time. You can buy leather bound planners, fancy software packages, books, tapes and hand-held computers. You can even attend week long seminars that teach better time management skills.

I'm sure most of those resources are very good. I'd like to suggest however, before spending your hard earned money on any of them, you try these 10 simple tips for effective time management.

1. It's not time management. It's self management. You can't control time and so, you certainly can't manage it. You get as much time as anyone else. You CAN control yourself - what you be and do in each moment of time. In words of English poet, Austin Dobson, "Time goes, you say? Ah, no! Alas, time stays, we go."

2. Keep and USE a simple, "block" type, weekly calendar. I use a two page weekly calendar with one hour increments in each block. Page 1 covers Mon-Sun, 4 a.m.-12 noon. Page 2 covers Mon-Sun, 1 p.m.-9 p.m. Each one hour block of time should be big enough to write in any appointments. You can use Microsoft Works to print a calendar such as this. Keep it with you at all times.

3. Keep a simple, "block" type, monthly calendar. Any appointments that don't fall in current week can be written in one of blocks on your monthly calendar. Again, Microsoft Works will produce a monthly calendar such as this. Keep this calendar with you all time as well.

4. Plan your week in advance. Spend an hour Sunday evening planning coming week. Transfer appointments from your monthly calendar to your weekly calendar. When you see how many open blocks of time you actually have, you'll feel a much greater sense of control and peace.