Here's most common problem I see among clients, friends, family members and colleagues. Actually, it's not really a problem so much as it is a belief. It's a limiting belief that says:
"It's not okay to get what I want."
Not only do I see it in others, but it's also one of my own personal favorites. How about you? Does any of this ring true for you?
"What I want" can be anything from last piece of pizza to a certain amount of time to yourself to a happy marriage to a career or business you really want.
Whatever object of desire, there's an underlying belief or feeling that says it's not okay to have it.
Several months ago, during a session with my own coach, I came face to face with this very issue. I'd been working more than usual, and my coach was really challenging me to tell my employer I needed following day off.
That was a tough challenge to consider. Although I probably deserved a day off as much as anyone else, there was something in me that fought idea.
I thought how nice it would be to not have any agenda for whole day, and I wanted to take that day off. But still, I could feel tension arise within me as she challenged me further.
The end result was I did take day off - just not that particular day. We compromised. Actually, I compromised. Right? Wrong? Who knows. Who cares? The world is still running fine, and I haven't lost any sleep over my decision.
The first of 28 Attraction Principles in Thomas Leonard's "The Portable Coach" is "Become Incredibly Selfish." Hmm. I wonder if Thomas saw this as a common issue with his clients, friends and colleagues? If you haven't read book yet, I'd suggest you pick up a copy. He gives a whole new definition for word selfish.
Along with that, here are a few tips I'll offer as well.
1. Learn to recognize this belief working in your life. Do you rarely make time for yourself? Do you find yourself involved in all sorts of projects that you really don't enjoy? Are you doing and having everything except that which you really want? Those are a few ways this belief may show up in your life.
2. Get clear on what you really do want. Do you want an extra hour or two each day for yourself? How about an incredibly happy marriage or relationship? Maybe you'd just like a more comfortable chair at work.