It's All Up to You (Nobody is Coming to Save You!)

Written by Tony Davies

As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely true. Wherever we are in our lives and whatever we are doing, it is because we have put ourselves there. It is our choices and decisions (either conscious or not) that have brought together circumstances resulting in our current reality. If we want to change our reality, then we must begin to make different choices.

It’s an easy thing to say, but much more difficult to actually do. Why? Because most ofrepparttar choices we make are not actually choices at all, but are based upon conditioned responses! The vast majority of people (estimates range as high as 95%) do not actually choose their responses; they simply react to outside stimuli. For absolute proof of this, simply take a drive in a large urban area and watch forrepparttar 138553 incidents of road rage! "Flippingrepparttar 138554 bird" at another driver is nothing more than a conditioned response - and is a sure sign thatrepparttar 138555 driver is not self-aware.

The old adage that “we arerepparttar 138556 product of our environment” is absolutely true – as our parents, teachers, clergy and other role models acted, thus do we act. Children learn from observingrepparttar 138557 actions of their role models, renderingrepparttar 138558 expression “do as I say, not as I do” totally irrelevant. It is this principle that explains, among other things, why children of abusive parents often become abusers themselves.

So how does one breakrepparttar 138559 destructive cycle of stimulus / reaction? First, by recognizing that we, as individuals, arerepparttar 138560 problem: only through taking responsibility for our actions can we come torepparttar 138561 crossroads and begin to take charge of our lives. Once we have made this leap, thenrepparttar 138562 answer is easy (although not necessarily easy to accomplish), and can be summed up in one simple word – THINK!

Other People's Opinions

Written by Charlotte Burton

Other People's Opinions

In a society where interaction is part of everyday life, and other people form a vital part of life, other people's opinions are actually important in where we fit into society. However, we often think we know what other people are thinking and base our actions around those 'apparent' opinions.

Yet how do we actually know whether our assumptions about other people's opinions are true or not? Frankly, we don't. This is whererepparttar Fundamental Attribution Error comes in. To put it into plain Engligh, it means that we make a basic error in assuming other people's thoughts without checking or otherwise knowing whether we are right or not in that assumption.

We base these assumptions on our schema ofrepparttar 138530 world (another Psychology term which means a system of beliefs we have about howrepparttar 138531 world works from how to order food in a restaurant to how we 'should' live our lives). These schema are made up from our experiences inrepparttar 138532 world, with some schema being made up from other people's schema which we have picked up alongrepparttar 138533 way: such as our parents' and friends' schemas.

Now mostly, these errors are fairly harmless: it is when we start living our lives entirely around what we think other people are thinking that it can become 'dangerous'. Many people fall intorepparttar 138534 trap of becoming practically obsessive about what other people are thinking of how we behave that everything that we do becomes subject to what we think other people are thinking.

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