It's 'Cause I Have To, Mr. Elmer: An EQ TaleWritten by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
Elmer builds roofs and runs construction crews. One afternoon he went fishing with one of his employees. Same bait, same hole, same fishing pole, but he was catching nothing, and his buddy was raking them in.“How come you’re catching all fish?” Elmer asked. “It’s ‘cause I have to, Mr. Elmer,” he replied. One man was fishing for fun; other man was fishing because that would be all his family would be eating that night. INTENTIONALITY Intentionality is one of higher-level emotional intelligence competencies. It means saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It means intending to do something and then staying focused until you’ve done it. It also means, and this is tricky part, being accountable for motives behind your actions. You can see in this little tale, if you’re doing something just for fun or relaxation, outcome can be very different than if you’re doing it for a serious purpose.
| | Lady Will Power ... It's Now or Never: An EQ TaleWritten by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
If you’re familiar with lyrics to “Lady Will Power,” by Gary Puckett and Union Gap, you understand this woman is under some pressure.Just what is “will power”? In emotional intelligence language, we would call it Intentionality. Emotional intelligence means being able to understand and manage emotions – yours and others’ – and to use them to make decisions, solve problems, and bring about results that work in your favor. We think with our neocortex, and our emotions are generated in our limbic and reptilian brains. Two of our brains don’t take orders. Our “brains” are often in conflict with other one; that’s way life is. Intentionality is a high-level competency because it’s means saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It also means being accountable for your motives as well as your actions. Presumably in situation of this song, emotions are pulling one way, and “better judgment” is pulling other way, for woman, and man is using intimidation tactics – “it’s now or never”. This is a conflict. Emotions will always pull more strongly than thoughts, because we need our emotions in order to survive. Fear, for instance, keeps us alive. We need to know danger immediately, and react immediately. Therefore, we’re programmed to shut down thinking part of our brain and adrenalin forces us to act without allowing thought to intervene. If we stopped in front of a speeding car that was about to hit us and said, “Wow! Is that new Jetta?” we would be dead.
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