Is your marriage strong enough for the Swinging Lifestyle?Written by Gin
Why have you entered swinging lifestyle? Has your spouse become boring in bed and you want something more exciting? Have you become a swinger in an attempt to keep your spouse from cheating on you? Has your marriage lost it's "spark" and you feel that adding other sexual partners will correct your relationship problems? The
| | Infidelity: How “My Marriage Made Me Do It” is a Cop-outWritten by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair and you may hear something like this: “I have a lousy marriage. My marriage is dead. There is no intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone. We’ve grown apart. I can’t stand marriage. There was nothing happening in marriage and affair just happened.”These statements are rationalizations and fail to “get at” underlying issues. Key points: 1. It’s as if a marriage is an animal gone bad. A marriage does not have a life of it’s own. In reality, there is no such thing as a “marriage.” One is “married” as a result of making some promises and signing a paper at one point. After paper is signed, two people continue communicating and acting toward one another in particular ways that they hope will help them get what they individually want. Just as there is no “marriage,” there is no such thing as a “relationship.” There are, however, ways of relating for which each person is responsible. Remember comedian Flip Wilson (that dates me) and his “The devil made me do it” skit? 2. We idealize “marriage” or “romantic relationships” with expectation we will get what we want, without much effort to boot. The movies, popular public press and romance novels/stories don’t help much here. A “marriage” is behind eight ball from word go. “IT” can’t win. 3. From day one most of us don’t have a clue about how to get, build, nurture and maintain healthy and intimate ways of relating. We need ‘love 101’ and it’s not there. We rely upon experimentation or bad models.
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