Shelly begins, “I’ve always had a rich inner life. Growing up, books were my friends. I’d often rather read than relate to people. I never felt there was anything wrong with that, but I had to hide my library books under my mattress because my mother would find them and return them saying I spent too much time reading!!

“Doing math in school - - especially at blackboard - - was excruciating because I could always get right answer, but not know how I got it. - - I saw whole process, but couldn’t break down parts to “show my work”. (Intuitive side of me) The problem was, being introverted, I didn’t know how to speak up and defend myself. In fact, that was a major theme in my life - - feeling misunderstood and judged because I was different - - without words to describe my inner experience in a way that others could relate to. I wasn’t willing to be “squeaky wheel” whose needs were always addressed because they spoke up!

“In high school, I took drama classes and was in school drama productions, to challenge myself to “come out” more - - I was perceived as shy because I often kept silent in groups, etc. Even though I enjoyed drama, I still felt more comfortable as part of crowd onstage, or in singing and dancing roles, not speaking parts.

“I still don’t much enjoy cocktail parties, small talk, initiating phone conversations, speaking to answering machines - - though I’ve, of course, learned to do all that.

I asked Elizabeth to describe what it was like growing up introverted in an extroverted world. This is her story.

Growing up as an introvert in a world of extroverts that doesn't accept introverts as normal, is painful in extreme. Unless you're fortunate enough to have another introvert in your immediate family or social network as a child, you're isolated and always feel like you're alone, even in a big crowd. Being around people is exhausting and you need to get away. My retreat was always into books.

I remember one summer (7th grade?) where I spent most of summer reading. My mother was always trying to get me to go outside, get my head out of books, and play like rest of kids. My father would comment at dinner table that "the princess has decided to grace us with her presence". When your parents ridicule you for being different, your siblings will treat you same way; learned behavior at its worst.

Because you're quiet, most of time people think you don't have anything to say or contribute and are surprised when you offer a suggestion or even if you say anything. When I was a senior in high school, I had Economics with one of world's worst teachers. I sat towards back and kept a small group of students in stitches with my snide remarks (by 12th grade I had found that I had a voice and used it more). I think they were all shocked because all those years in school, they never suspected that I had a sense of humor.

All through school I was never part of any one clique. I had acquaintances in most of groups but never belonged to any of them. I didn't feel need. I was in Brownies for one year and 4-H for one year; I never like organized group thing. I wanted to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, not when someone told me I could do it. Of course, whole group integration thing is difficult when you don't see point in making "small talk" and useless conversation. That, I've never been good at.

Teachers always liked me because I was quiet, didn't cause trouble, generally followed rules (at least when I was younger!), and did well in my school work. Of course, my siblings hated me for it. Most of my pre-college education was spent trying to keep a low profile and hoping I wouldn't be noticed. The ultimate horror: doing math problems on board in front of class. I had a geometry class in 9th grade, where everyone else was in 11 or 12th grade, and where we had to do proofs on board. Each class was an agony of anticipation and then relief if I wasn't chosen. The Agony and Ecstasy, so to speak (you know, I read that book in 6th grade?!).

As an adult, it's not so bad. I know I'm okay and I don't care if other people don't get me; that's just too bad. I'm very protective of my personal space and need lots of alone time. Extroverts are horrified if you tell them that you like going to movies by yourself or if you buy yourself flowers just because you want to, or any other of a dozen other things that they just can't envision doing by themselves.