All people have experienced childhood hurts, albeit some more than others. None-the-less, we have all had them. Whether it is a lack of children's developmental skills, a lack of adults recognizing
need to help them, or both ~ childhood hurts do not go away on their own. We can stifle those wounds at times, accuse and try to convince perpetrator of their error, exhaust ourselves emotionally, cry a spell and think it's better now, etc. But, it isn't. We have all heard it said of children, "They'll get over it." In a little while, they will be playing again; which leads us to believe that statement is true. But, it isn't. We could be 90 years old and still not have gotten over it ~ which is sure to be relived, again, as minds regress.
If you happen to be in grocery store, see a child accidentally cause an orange to drop to floor (if you see that child get smacked, or even if you don't) and it brings back a reminder in your childhood ~ that hurt is still there. Sometimes, trigger words will bring back a memory. Other times, it will be an event. But, any and every time a memory is triggered more than once (being it months or years apart), that wound is still there.
As adults, we can often find understanding for other's failures; they were having a bad day, they may not have fully understood significance of their error, or just anything. And, even when we can't otherwise reason, we come to learn importance of forgiving, for our own benefit.
However, when children are wounded, (as a rule) adults do not help them to understand. They may not have offered reassuring hug that lets that child know they are still loved. Adults probably did not teach that child in area of praying for our enemies and they may not have defended them at all.
Often times, adults were just ignorant of child's spiritual need. But, many times, too ~ adults did not treat children with same respect as they would others. Physical and verbal lashings often gave blows to children when they weren't even culprit. Then, there were those occasions where adults had no business rearing children at all.
Moses was hid from Pharaoh. Jesus was kept from Herod. Satan seeks to destroy child and that includes us, too. We were wounded, as a child, and that 'child within' still hurts; as deeply as day event occurred ... which is one reason why we try blame, anger, and about everything else first.
We can not change past. Neither can we change others. But, we can change what becomes of us now. And, before we can begin a healthy journey, we have to rid ourselves of all that extra baggage (all that sorrow, anger, and rage that sometimes even physically binds us).
Maybe they neither want or deserve forgiveness. Or, maybe, they are still blinded in their error. None-the-less, we have been made free from sins of our fathers and it is up to us to take hold of that freedom. __________________
Get out pen and paper, if you will. Make a list of every hurt that comes to mind. It is alright if you do not remember everything. Just write down what you do. You can even ask God to help you remember. (1. Billy stole my watch. 2. Aunt Jane lied about me. 3. Dad didn't come to my game, when he promised.)
Sure, you may have gotten blind sided with a baseball bat. But, children have such tender and trusting hearts that little things count, too. Do not be surprised if your first list is really long. But if not, what you have will be fine. Then, once your list is finished, put it aside for a bit.
Next, consider what your relationship with God has been like. Do you hold Him at arm's length, like dad did you? Maybe you try not to annoy God with little things, waiting until something becomes insurmountable before you ask for help. Maybe you envision God as a devil with a whip, just waiting for you to mess up. As is often case, kind of relationship we have with our earthly father is same way we perceive God; making it even more important to be free of wounds, once and for all, so we can enjoy relationship with God that He had always intended.
