Indifference and Decompensation in Pathological Narcissism

Written by Sam Vaknin

The narcissist lacks empathy. Consequently, he is not really interested inrepparttar lives, emotions, needs, preferences, and hopes of people around him. Even his nearest and dearest are, to him, mere instruments of gratification. They require his undivided attention only when they "malfunction" - when they become disobedient, independent, or critical. He loses all interest in them if they cannot be "fixed" (for instance, when they are terminally ill). People findrepparttar 143762 narcissist "cold", "inhuman", "heartless", "clueless", "robotic or machine-like".

Early on in life,repparttar 143763 narcissist learns to disguise his socially-unacceptable indifference as benevolence, equanimity, cool-headedness, composure, or superiority. "It is not that I don't care about others" - he shrugs off his critics - "I am simply more level-headed, more resilient, more composed under pressure ... They mistake my equanimity for apathy."

The narcissist tries to convince people that he is compassionate. His profound lack of interest in his spouse's life, vocation, interests, hobbies, and whereabouts he cloaks as benevolent altruism. "I give her allrepparttar 143764 freedom she can wish for!" - he protests - "I don't spy on her, follow her, or nag her with endless questions. I don't bother her. I let her lead her liferepparttar 143765 way she sees fit and don't interfere in her affairs!". He makes a virtue out of his emotional truancy.

All very commendable but when taken to extremes such benign neglect turns malignant and signifiesrepparttar 143766 voidance of true love and attachment. The narcissist's emotional (and, often, physical) absence from all his relationships is a form of aggression and a defense against his own thoroughly repressed feelings.

In rare moments of self-awareness,repparttar 143767 narcissist realizes that without his input - even inrepparttar 143768 form of feigned emotions - people will abandon him. He then swings from cruel aloofness to maudlin and grandiose gestures intended to demonstraterepparttar 143769 "larger than life" nature of his sentiments. This bizarre pendulum only provesrepparttar 143770 narcissist's inadequacy at maintaining adult relationships. It convinces no one and repels many.

Collected Unpaid Child Support

Written by Detra Davis

There is nothing more discouraging than doingrepparttar right thing and not getting credit for it. How many non-custodial parents are paying child support only to have it lost by a disbursement center that is under staffed and technologically inapt?

There is over $100 Billion in accumulated unpaid support owed to 18 million children inrepparttar 143719 United States, according to The Federal Office of Child Support inrepparttar 143720 Preliminary Statistics for 2003. Most states cannot explainrepparttar 143721 existence ofrepparttar 143722 “undistributed funds” nor do they know to whomrepparttar 143723 money rightfully belongs. The “undistributed funds” are created when non-custodial parents decide to make a check out to a child support agency orrepparttar 143724 custodial parent and avoid putting a docket number or case number onrepparttar 143725 check. It is honorable to pay child support. It is foolish to think that a check or money order made out incorrectly will get torepparttar 143726 intended custodial parent and child.

If you pay child support and you thinkrepparttar 143727 state disbursement agency has not forwardedrepparttar 143728 support funds torepparttar 143729 custodial parent, there are a few things you can do:

1. Request an audit of your child support case. You want to know where each and every penny has gone. 2. Keep a record of your child support payments whether there is a wage assignment andrepparttar 143730 funds are automatically taken from your earnings or you payrepparttar 143731 custodial parent directly, document everything and keep all earning statements that detailrepparttar 143732 deduction.

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
Terms of Use