When you have to deal with one of your team who's complaining to you, rather than allowing your negative programmes to take over, get your thinking part in gear and try to see situation way they see it. You don't necessarily have to agree with them but perhaps you can empathise with their point of view.
The successful manager thinks about people they have to deal with, is sensitive to how they see things and knows that they might think differently than they do.
Let me give you an example: I've always had a thing about good timekeeping; it's something that's been programmed into my brain. If you agree to meet me at 8.30 in morning, I'll be there at 8.20; I will always do my utmost be on time.
So I used to get angry when a member of my team would show up late for a meeting or an appointment with me. When I got angry I'd get stressed and end up saying something that I regretted later. Therefore, I learned to start thinking about situation and try to see it from their point of view and not let my programming run my brain.
That doesn't mean to say I ignored lateness or did nothing about it; I thought very carefully about what I wanted to say and spoke to team member about how we would resolve this situation.
The point about this is - I'm not prepared to allow that team member's behaviour to run my mind. Getting angry and stressed is not good for our health and it isn't a productive way to motivate our team.