If You Want Them To Hear You, Speak Their Language!

Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD


You've probably noticed that there are some problems with our communication system. We have to use words. They are often imprecise, awkward and unable to capturerepparttar essence of what we want to say.

Problem #1. Words mean different things to different folks. Even when we find what we consider to be adequate words,repparttar 126267 listener hears something else.

Problem #2. It is difficult to capture feelings in words. And, equally difficult to remove feelings from words. What a conundrum.

Problem #3. Listeners may not be listening. There's a big difference between listening and hearing: onlyrepparttar 126268 former engagesrepparttar 126269 mind. Many folks begin formulating their response after you sayrepparttar 126270 first ten words.

Problem #4. The listener's prior experiences color your words for them. You are not alone. They are hearing every person who has ever spoken to them in your way or with your words as you speak. Therefore, they decide where to place their attention and what their focus will be.

Problem #5. And, we wonder why communication is difficult? It's enough to make you close your mouth forever!

Now, aside from those five problems, there are other considerations. Here are some simple and significant ways to increase your chances of being accurately heard and, hopefully, listened to. Considerrepparttar 126271 following questions:

1. Do you know what is important to your listener? Are they more interested in facts or feelings? Demonstrate your desire to communicate with them by leading with what is of greater interest to them.

2. Do you know if your listener is more interested inrepparttar 126272 details orrepparttar 126273 decision? Some folks are more comfortable with assessing and planning solutions than with making decisions and implementing them. To whom are you speaking? It is difficult to get a "decide and do" attitude from an "assess and solve" person. Similarly, it is more difficult to engage an "assessor" in a decision making conversation. They will usually want to keep perfecting their plan. Acknowledge this and affirm their skill before asking them to decide.

"Learning From Fido" (or, the real gurrrrus online)

Written by Larry Johnson

If dogs were teachers we would all learn a great deal about life, love, and work includingrepparttar internet.

I received a simple e-mail message from one of my online friends recently that pointed out some ofrepparttar 126266 traits of dogs which are positive. admirable, and worthy of imitation.

For example: Dogs always run to greet you when you come home and they are happy to see you. No questions about where you have been or why you were late. They are just very happy that you are home.

They are great at knowing when to take a nap or on warm days they know when to stop and lie back inrepparttar 126267 grass and relax.

One of our Poms that we had was good at reminding me when it was time for a break fromrepparttar 126268 computer by jumping up on my leg for some attention.

On hot days, they drink lots of water and find a nice shade tree to get under.

When they are happy, they just dance around and wag their entire bodies.

No matter how often they are scolded, they don't bear grudges...they just run right back and make friends.

Most dogs will avoid biting when a simple growl will do. ( Could this be applied to some people's over-reaction to spam messages ?)

Dogs like to run, romp and play daily, and yet they can find delight inrepparttar 126269 simple joy of a long walk with you.

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