Many of us mistakenly believe that it’s wrong or conceited, to think we have any good qualities. We may spend a lot of time berating ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is key to improving our performance. However, a constant focus on our supposed shortcomings can hinder our efforts to make friends with other people.

How can we have confidence to make new friends if we think we don’t have much to offer? How can we believe that others could like us if we believe our inner being is flawed? Or if we think we are too boring to interest anyone else?

We may wonder what anyone else would see in us if we don’t see any good in ourselves. In order for others to be attracted to us, they must be able to easily see our best qualities. If we focus on our good qualities we will have much more confidence that we have something of value to offer in a relationship.

If you wish to be socially successful, it’s important to accept fact that not everybody is going to like you under all circumstances. Not everyone is going to like package you come in, especially on first meeting you. Every person has a unique pattern of likes and dislikes which were formed long before they met you. Don’t think you have to condemn yourself as a failure if it seems that someone else doesn’t like you.

If someone seems to dislike you, reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person who doesn’t like you might be fearful, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time.

Don’t take yourself out of game by deciding that your flaws are bigger than your assets. In fact, some of very qualities you consider to be flaws may be irresistible to someone else. For all factors that might cause one person to reject you, there are at least as many factors that will work in your favor with someone else.

You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight, but you may have a wonderful laugh and a huge zest for life. There are many people to whom your extra pounds will literally be invisible. You may drive a shabby car, but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or wit, and package it comes in is not important.

Let's assume that you want to set a goal in relation to getting fitter. Maybe you're a bit overweight or you just feel sluggish.

First, there is general agreement that first word in your goal statement should be 'I'.

Next, second word should be a verb in present tense. So for example, rather than saying I will be fitter, it's better to say 'I am' fitter.

Third, you need to be specific. Saying I am fitter is too vague. Let's say that you want to be able to run a mile in 6 minutes. You could word your goal 'I run a mile in 6 minutes'. It may well be that currently it takes you 10 minutes to run a mile - or maybe you can't even run a mile. Forget that. You need to state your goal as if you can already achieve it.

Now here are two points about goal setting wording on which experts disagree. My suggestion to you is that you test out for yourself to see what works.